From: scorpio_kaur@hotmail.com The Ohtori Budokai presents: The Duel known as ­ Spirit and Time! The Players: Utena ­ a Prince, kinda sorta maybe Mirai Trunks ­ The Boy from the Future aka Super-Saiya-jin aka Vegita’s son. Akio ­ A Deputy Chairman. More specifically; an evil, manipulative Deputy Chairman (like there can be any other kind?) GT Vegita ­ spiky haired Prince of the now defunct planet, Vegita-sei. Trunks’ father Anthy: A Rose Bride, Akio’s sister. Supporting Roles: Student Council Members, specifically Miki: Desperately Seeking Shining Thing Chu-Chu: A monkey-mouse Random assorted DBZ and Utena characters And: Full Chorus of Screaming Adolescent Girls The Scene: The Arena. The Castle of Illusion floats above the dueling grounds and, on one side, there is a small announcer’s booth set up. Floating bleachers are set up around the Arena. The Akio-car drives across the arena, next to the announcer’s booth. A smoothly dressed, deeply tanned man exits the vehicle. He adjusts his clothes, here and there, causing the off-camera girl chorus (perhaps more accurately referred to as a harem) to scream in pleasure. He enters the booth. Akio smiles, just barely a lift of the corner of his lip, and half a dozen thumps are heard as the girl chorus promptly passes out from sensory overload. He sits in front of one of the microphones and crosses his arms. He waits . "HA!" someone bellows. A short, stocky, spiky-haired man materializes next to Akio, but the he doesn’t seem surprised. The man is wearing black leather pants and a matching vest. Akio looks him over, but the man doesn’t seem to know notice. "I knew I could do it! And I did it without knowing where I was going! When I return, Kakarotto will be beaten and I shall be victorious!" The newcomer follows his speech with insane laughter. Then he notices the other man. "Prince Vegita, I presume," Akio says. "And you’re Akio. What game is this?" Vegita clenches his fist and shoves it under Akio’s nose. "’I was sent a letter and it told me to come here! It smelled like a bunch of flowers had died on it." "But you came anyway," Akio replies smoothly. "I can’t resist a challenge-" Vegita explains. "No. You can’t," Akio agrees. "Even if it is from some lilac-haired pansy," he finishes. Akio raises one eyebrow derisively. The girl chorus coos in appreciation. Vegita turns to see where the noise came from, but Akio directs his attention elsewhere. "I was ‘compelled’ to invite you here today. A power greater than myself has ordained a duel. It goes against all of my rules, but then again, it would be nice to spice things up around here. After all," he muses "I’ve had most of the regular duelists....er, I mean, I’ve arranged most of the regular duels. This one will be different." Vegita leans against the wall of the booth. "So why am I here? Understand that your answer may or may not prolong your life for a few moments." Akio smiles and the girl chorus squeals. "You were summoned here because you have a vested interest in this duel. For many reasons. Our local champion and the champion of your world shall duel today in the arena. This isn’t a duel for the Rose Bride or the power of Revolution. It’s simply a duel to see who’s the best." Vegita reacts to the word ‘best.’ "Then you wrote the right man." "Not you, though you have your own * special * qualities. No, it is your son that will fight the duel." "Trunks? You want him? Well, he’s off hunting for some damn dragonballs with Kakarotto," Vegita snorts. "Worthless brat-" "We don’t want your Trunks. It is Mirai Trunks who will fight today. He who bears the sword and defeated Frieza. Singlehandedly, I might add." Vegita bristles slightly at the insinuation and Akio hides a smile. "So why am I here?" Vegita says. He really doesn’t like this Akio and the way the guy keeps staring at him is beginning to disturb him. "I would like your commentary as the fight progresses. I have decided that, in the spirit of goodwill and fair play, I need two different points of view. And who could give better criticisms than the two most dangerous men from their respective universe." "You’re the most dangerous man here? You have no power level at all," Vegita sneers in disbelief. "Not the kind you’re used to. I’ll have to give you a demonstration some time," Akio says very softly. (The girl chorus shrieks in high C.) "But we must begin. Take your seat, Vegita. We will see how your son fares against Utena." The Duel Akio: (purring) Ladies (high-pitched screams are heard in the background) and gentlemen, this is Akio from the Arena at the Castle of Illusions. We are here to witness the Ultimate Duel, when the two reigning swordmasters of two different universes will fight to see who will hold the title of "Swordmaster of Spirit and Time." Vegita: Hey! Akio: (ignoring Vegita) The reigning champion is a fourteen-year- old wannabe prince who is currently engaged to the Rose Bride. She has vanquished most of the Council members at Ohtori Academy and has conquered most of the hearts of the school, both men and women. (Wild cheering is heard from all directions. Vegita looks around frantically for the source and sees that the previously empty bleachers are filled with students from Ohtori Academy and from his own universe.) I give to you, Tenjou Utena! (There is more cheering and clapping. A spotlight focuses on one side of the arena. A pink-haired girl in a black boy’s school uniform stands with hands on hips and winks. The adulation eventually fades. There is a long pause.) Introduce your son, Vegita. Vegita. Humph. Trunks killed Frieza, before I had a chance to, and he went Super-Saiya-jin before me, though that was just a fluke- Akio: (sotto voce) As was Son Goku, no doubt. Vegita: (going red) What did you say?!!! Akio: Nothing, Vegita. Go ahead. Vegita: He isn’t too bad with a sword either. He isn’t full Saiya-jin, which isn’t his fault, but his lack of blood- thirstiness shows that he will never live up to his rightful heritage. (There is a long pause. Crickets start to chirp. Utena begins to tap her foot impatiently.) Akio: That’s it? Vegita: You want more? Akio: I think you forgot something. Vegita: What? Akio: Trunks’ popularity with the members of the opposite sex.... Vegita: That has absolutely nothing to do with fighting! Akio: (suggestively) Perhaps, but it has a lot to do with sword- wielding.... (Sound of girl chorus fainting) Vegita: Anyway, here’s Trunks. (Another spotlight appears on the other side of the arena. A tall muscular lavender haired boy stands there. The crowd goes wild and the girl chorus, who has recovered, screams uncontrollably. Trunks blushes and waves slightly, which causes the girl chorus to go into convulsions. Akio turns and looks at them and they begin to whimper slightly.) Akio: Now it is time for the duel to begin. Draw your swords, contestants. (Trunks pulls his sword out of the sheath on his back.) Utena: (glancing around) Anthy? (Anthy has gone nuts over Trunks. A slight line of drool drips down her chin and her eyes are just two hearts. Utena waves her hand in front of her face, but there is no effect. Saionji appears out of nowhere and backhands Anthy. Utena goes to say something, but thinks better of it. The slap has awakened Anthy from her Trunks induced stupor.) Anthy: Sorry (gasp) but (gasp) I ­ Utena: (a little more forcefully than usual) Never mind. The duel is about to begin. Hurry up! Anthy: Sorry, Utena-sama. Here’s your rose, Trunks. Good luck. (She puts his rose under the strap of his shirt, slightly under his jacket. The rose is the color of his hair.) And here’s yours, Utena. Utena: (outraged) You wished him luck? Anthy: (whimpering slightly) His hair reminds me of my brother. (She goes back into her automatic ‘Rose Bride’ mode.) Whoever knocks the rose off their opponent’s chest becomes engaged to the Rose Bride. Trunks: Err, engaged? Utena: That’s not how we’re doing it this time, Anthy. Anthy: (face faults) We’re not? Trunks: Thank Kami. (notices Utena) You don’t have a sword. Utena: I will in a moment. (Anthy does her speech and Utena pulls the sword out of her chest. Trunks’ eyes goggle.) Vegita: (From the announcer’s booth) She keeps a sword in her chest? Akio: And you hunt for dragonballs. Vegita: (interested) What else does she keep in there? Akio: (ignoring him) Begin the duel for the title! Vegita: Kick the girl’s ass, Trunks! Don’t let your father down. (Trunks’ cheeks burn red.) Utena: That’s your dad? Trunks: Yeah. Utena: Wow. That almost makes me glad I’m an orphan. Trunks: (bristling) At least I don’t have pink hair. Utena: You have lilac hair. What an improvement. Akio: It seems the contestants are going to begin with time honored fighting tradition of insulting each other until someone becomes so enraged that they strike. By the way, Vegita, did I tell you how much I like your outfit? Vegita: (proudly) It’s all leather. Akio: (smoothly) Oh, I know. (Cuts back to Utena and Trunks who are still trading insults) Trunks: At least I know what gender I am. Utena: Bastard! (She jumps at him and strikes wildly with the Sword of Dios.) Vegita: About damn time they started fighting! Kill her, Trunks! Akio: You will soon find that there are more * exquisite * ways of torturing one’s opponents than simply eliminating them, Vegita. Vegita: What are you going on about? Akio: (sighs. It’s suggestive enough to make Vegita inhale sharply and the girl chorus to faint again.) The point of this exercise is to determine who has the best technique, Vegita-san. Technique has nothing to do with life and death, but has everything to do with...skill. This is a test to see who has the better sword-wielding abilities. Vegita: (grins evilly) Then Trunks has an advantage, I think. (returns to the fight) Cut her into little tiny bits! (The duelists clash and their swords clang. Trunks forces Utena into a defensive mode and she blocks his sword with her own.) Utena: You’re strong. Trunks: (grins a bit too much like his dad) Yes. Utena: (with effort) But. Are. You. Quick? (She twists her sword away, dodges his blow, and slices at his rose. She misses. They continue parrying and thrusting across the arena.) Akio: As you can see, Utena has a considerable technical advantage while Trunks has brute strength. It is possible that the two differences will merely cancel each other out. Then it will be a matter of endurance and having not had, er, excuse me, not having had the opportunity to observe either of these duelists in action as it were, I will be as surprised as anyone else at the outcome. What are your observations, Vegita? Vegita: (ignoring him) Slice her open, Trunks! I want to see if her guts are as pink as her hair! Anthy: (has been watching intently from the sidelines and has also managed to get a hold of some pom-poms) Go Trunks! Utena: What! Vegita: Can’t you see? Can’t any of you see? He has purple hair! Purple hair! Why does everyone love guys with purple hair?!!!! (Goes Super-Saiya-jin with anger.) (Utena, fueled by her anger at Anthy’s betrayal, rains down blows upon Trunks, who staggers backward. He glances around for help and sees his father in the announcer booth, going Super Saiya- jin. Trunks smiles and quickly follows suit.) (Utena pauses in her devastating attacks.) Utena: What was * that *? Trunks: You’ll find out. Akio: (after seeing the transformation) I wonder... Vegita: (sees an opportunity to push his pro-Saiyan agenda) What do you wonder? Akio: (still looking at Trunks) I wonder....if * all * his hair does that? Vegita: (mammoth sweatdrop) (Utena is beginning to falter under Trunks’ new power. She can just barely keep up with his superhuman speed and dodges a swipe at her rose. In frustration, she goes into the center of the arena and the Power of Dios falls upon her. Now, with renewed strength, she fights Trunks. The crowd cheers the two duelists on. A pan of the camera shows the casts from the two respective shows sitting in the audience. They are all yelling for ‘their’ champion. Well, most of them are. Bulma cheers for her alternate timeline son, as does most of the cast for DBGT. The exceptions are Master Roshi and Oolong (who has a pair of panties tied to a stick and is waving it like a flag.) The Student Council members proudly cheer for their fellow duelist, even though she is an enemy in a sense. Touga is especially vocal. Most of the Ohtori Academy boys scream for Utena. However, the girls are a bit more divided, with it being a tie between loyalty for Utena and lust for Trunks. Comments in the crowd usually follow the line of sick jokes about ‘sword-wielding.’ In the meantime, Vegita has been keeping a close eye on Akio’s reactions to the two people in the arena, especially Trunks. As if on cue, Akio speaks.) Akio: Your son can handle himself better than I imagined. (he glances at Vegita) I’m sure you’ve taught him * many * things. Vegita: If you keep talking suggestively, I will hand you your head on a platter. Akio: Tell me, Vegita, do I make you uncomfortable? Vegita: (scowls) No. But if you keep looking at Trunks like you do, I’ll kill you. Akio: Oh, you mean look at him like this? (glances at Trunks) Or like this? (does a full body pan of Trunks) Vegita: Like that last one. (he smirks and the lights in the announcer’s booth go off mysteriously.) (During this snappy little banter, Utena and Trunks have fought their way back and forth across the Arena a couple of times. Utena and Trunks are beginning to get winded and their blows are less forceful and less frequent. Trunks swipes ineffectually at Utena’s chest and she parries easily.) Anthy: (She is now in a full cheerleader outfit. Chu-Chu also has on a cheerleader outfit and has tiny cotton balls for pompoms.) Go, go you lavender-haired wonder boy! Chu-Chu: Chu! Trunks: (holding Utena at bay) Your friend is a weirdo. Utena: Don’t I know it. You get used to it. At least she doesn’t glomp. Come on, lavender-haired wonder boy. Stop stalling. (They fight some more. Little does Utena realize that Miki has made his way onto the Arena. He has been dazzled by Trunks’ Super-Saiya-jin aura and tries to get a closer look at this new ‘shining’ thing. Utena stumbles over him as she backs away from Trunks and his sword. The Sword of Dios falls from her hand. In proper anime style, it falls to the ground in slow motion and the entire audience gasps aloud. It clatters as it hits the floor. Utena’s glance slides between her sword and Trunks.) Trunks: Go ahead. You can pick it up. (Utena is still dumb-founded.) Trunks: I’m not going to go back on my word, you know. I don’t do things like that. I fight honorably. (Utena can’t believe what she’s hearing. She picks up her sword, afraid to trust Trunks.) Trunks: You don’t have a lot of nice guys here, do you? You haven’t really been exposed to anyone who doesn’t, um, * want * you for some reason or another? Well, I’m not like them. I’m a good guy. You don’t have to worry about me pulling some stunt just to win. I don’t believe in winning like that. (His easy manner and his soft voice have mesmerized Utena by this time.) Trunks: Do you still want to fight, Utena? Aren’t you tired of being manipulated by all these people? Wouldn’t you just like someone who is simple and straightforward? (He holds out his hand to her. Utena’s resolve is wavering, she begins to reach out to him.) (Inside the still dark announcer’s booth, someone moans. It sounds like Akio and it’s not one of his usual moans. He’s in pain. Vegita appears, his face pressed up to the glass.) Vegita: What are you doing? KILL HER! Trunks: I can help you, take you away from all this...weirdness. (He plays a gambit) You wouldn’t have to be a prince anymore. I could do that and you could just be a normal girl. Utena: (thinking) Normal, huh? You mean, just worry about boys and never getting into fights and living a fairly uneventful life? Vegita: (grabs one of the microphones) Don’t give up your advantage! KILL HER NOW! (Akio’s outline rises behind him. Vegita suddenly disappears from view. There is significant feedback from the microphone ­ then silence.) Trunks: You wouldn’t have to duel. You could come back with me. It’s fairly quiet, now that the androids are dead. Utena: Quiet? No duels? Trunks: You’d never have to worry about swords or fights ever again. (he offers his hand again) Just let me take your rose and we’ll be done with this nonsense. SKU cast: Hey! Utena: I ­ I - (Trunks takes her indecision as a sign that she will join him. He reaches over to pluck her rose when Utena grabs his wrist. Utena isn’t looking at him, though. She is examining the sword of Dios.) Utena: That was a really good trick. No one’s ever tried to win a duel by being nice. It’s an interesting change, but it won’t work. Trunks: I ­ I don’t know what you’re talking about. Utena: Yeah, right. (She glares at him) You tried to get me off my guard by being polite because you knew no one had ever tried that before. You thought that you could prey on my good nature and kind heart and take my rose. Well, it isn’t going to work. (She throws his arm away from her and raises her sword.) Let’s duel. Trunks: Really, I have no idea what you’re talking about ­ Utena: You blush when you try to lie, Trunks. And you aren’t your father’s son for nothing. Trunks: (grins evilly) Fine. You figured it out. You’re a bit smarter than I thought, but even you cannot resist my power. I will be the Swordmaster of Spirit and Time, fairly or not. Prepare yourself for the patented Trunks strip tease! All will succumb to my wholesome goodness! Vegita: (only his voice is heard) Trunks !!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Akio: Oh. Yes. (Trunks laughs maniacally. He takes the rose off of his jacket and puts it in his mouth. The girl chorus is busy trying to revive one of their members. She may have had a heart attack. He peels off his Capsule Corp. jacket, very slowly. Then he begins to take off his shirt. Those women in the audience who hadn’t already fainted at the promise of the strip tease quickly pass out as he brings his shirt over his head. Utena smiles and yawns.) Utena: Please. You think that’s going to have any effect on me? You do understand what the guys look like at this school, right? They define the word bishonen. Some even have stylishly transparent hair. You think a little bit of bare chest is going to turn me into a pile of goo? Trunks: (Taking the rose out of his mouth) Well, I’m not done yet. Utena: Watch this. (She snaps her fingers and Anthy appears at Utena’s side. Anthy: Utena-sama? Utena: See that guy there? I want you to get his rose from him. By any means necessary, please. (She looks at Trunks.) Don’t worry. You’ll like it. (Anthy grins malevolently.) Trunks: (backs away in fear) What is she going to do? Utena: Whatever I want her to do. (Anthy stalks towards the poor, petrified Trunks, followed by ChuChu. Trunks passes out from pure fear. Utena snaps her fingers again and Anthy stops, very disappointed. Utena stands over Trunks’ prone body and, with the tip of her sword, knocks the rose out of his hand. It rolls to the ground and, when it hits, the arena erupts in cheers. The girl chorus cheers as their fallen member revives. Trunks opens his eyes and Utena helps him up.) Trunks: (Trying to keep his knees from shaking) What was that? How did you do that? Utena: That was Anthy and I’m not telling how I did it. Trunks: But you can control her? Then you truly deserve the title of Swordmaster of Spirit and Time. Utena: I didn’t win for my swordsmanship today. Trunks: (blushing as he puts his clothes back on) I don’t know what came over me. I don’t normally do things like that. Ever. Only my father was here and I don’t like disappointing him.... Utena: (looks suspiciously at the still dark announcer’s booth) I think I know what happened, but don’t worry about it. We’ll have to have a rematch sometime. No tricks. Deal? Trunks: (offers his hand) Deal. (They shake.) (The bleachers are emptying and Trunks waves goodbye to Utena before joining his friends. Anthy is a small ball on the floor. She pounds the ground with her fist and cries Trunks’ name over and over again. Utena helps her up and leads her down the stairs of the Arena. The spotlight shuts off and the crickets began to chirp.) Result: Utena 1, Everyone else, 0 A scream, not of pleasure, but of pure unadulterated terror echoes through the arena. The door to the announcer’s booth bursts off its hinges and an extremely quick-moving and slightly beat up Akio runs out of the door. Instead of running away, he smiles, ducks to the right of the doorframe, and trips the insanely irate, very be-dressed Vegita as he runs out of the booth. The Prince of the Saiyan-jin falls flat on his face. It doesn’t help that he is wearing the Rose Bride dress either. Akio advances upon his downed opponent Vegita looks over his shoulder, past the frills, at Akio. "You’re going to pay for this! How did I get into a dress?" Akio smiles (and the girl chorus squeals) and says, "I’ve always wondered, Vegita. What’s it like to have a tail?" Vegita tears at the dress and stops when he realizes that he’s wearing the dress * instead * of something, not over something. "What did you do to me?" Akio gestures back at the announcer’s booth. "Your clothes are in there if you want them. I have no use for you anymore." "WHY AM I IN A DRESS?" Vegita screams. The girl chorus cowers. "Because I wanted you to be," Akio says and shrugs. "I like to see men in dresses. Always have, always will. Only I’ve gotten everyone in the school that I’ve ever wanted to see in a dress. I want to see new people in dresses. And I always get what I want, Vegita. So I’m going to delay the revolution for awhile and do this instead. Now about that tail question..." Vegita, with Super Saiyan-jin speed, dashes around Akio and into the announcer’s booth. The darkness does not reveal what he is doing. He appears, a few seconds later, in the doorway of the booth, dressed in the outfit he arrived in. "Did I tell you how much I like leather?" Akio purrs and cues the girl chorus to pass out again. "Listen to me, you purple haired freak. If you tell anyone about this, I’ll find you and-" "You can’t do anything to me, Vegita." "I’ll find your car and I’ll rip out the leather interior and then I’ll melt the rest into scrap metal and then I’ll send it into outer space," Vegita snarls. "You wouldn’t do that!" Akio cries. "Try me." Vegita adjusts his leather gauntlets. "Do we have a deal?" "I ­ yes, we have a deal," Akio mumbles. Vegita flashes his trademarked smirk.. "Good. Now I don’t ever want to hear from you or receive any more flowered letters. And if I see any more people with pastel colors for hair, that are not related to me, I’ll kill them on sight." With that Vegita blinks out of the arena. Akio smiles. It was a complete success. Everyone was manipulated to the fullest extent possible, even Vegita and Trunks. He steps over the unconscious bodies of the girl chorus, pauses as he considers the possibilities, then shakes his head. It’d be too easy. He gets into the Akio-car and leaves the Arena. Elsewhere, Utena vows to stop Akio and his evil manipulative abilities., Anthy cries herself to sleep and Chu-Chu sums it all up with one word. Chu.