Shoujo Kakumei Utena's Christmas Special Angelkate kam904s@yahoo.com All the members of the Everchanging Anime-Manga forum at Delphi.com are settled nicely in their various chairs, couches, torturous devices, etc waiting and wondering why this thread was opened up once more. Juri and Nanami walk out on stage to greet them all; Juri is dressed as an (you guessed it) angel, and Nanami is wearing a Grinch costume. Nanami: *hisses to Juri* Why do _I_ have to be the Grinch?! Juri: *hisses right back* Because you're the only one who fits in it. Now shut up! Nanami: *Pastes an obviously fake smile on her face* Welcome everyone to Shoujo Kakumei Utena's Christmas Special. Hey, Juri-sempai? Juri: Yes, Nanami-kun? Nanami: *holds a green hand up to her ear* What's that I hear? Juri: *deadpan* It almost sounds like sleighbells to me. *Just then a sleigh is hauled onstage from stage right. Miki is in the lead with a flashing red nose held on his face by a string. A shirtless Touga, Saionji, Ruka, and Akio tied up behind him. Except for the fact they are all missing their shirts(save Miki), they are dressed like reindeer.* Miki: Shining...thing. *his eyes tear* *Touga and the guys get off their knees and turn to help 'Santa' and 'Mrs. Claus' off the sleigh.* Santa/Utena: Hohohoho! Have we been a nice forum this year boys and girls? Or have we been naughty? Mrs. Claus/Anshi: *whispers in Utena's ears* Utena: *blush* Well...they could have been nicer...true. But...everyone's a little...naughty...these days. Anshi: *keeps whispering* Utena: *looks over at Rachelle and CatWho* My god, you did what with his pants? Now that's just not right! *everyone in audience drools as Akio stands* Akio: Coal for everyone? Mikage: *wanders on stage with an elfish Mamiya in tow* I have a better suggestion. Why don't we just start the show? Akio: Evil. I like it. *Akio begins singing* Oh come, All ye Duelists, losers and triumphant Oh come ye, oh come ye, to the new Arena Come and be quick now, run up those stairs faster Council: Oh come, let us see it, Nanami: Well, I don't wanna see it, Council: Come on! We wanna see it, Council: The new Arena! Juri: Dios from above, God of light, he hangs upside down here smiling down on the new Arena Touga: Oh come, let us see it, Saionji: Kuso! Why can't we see it, Miki: I'm not sure I want to see it! Council: The new Arena Mikage:Ring! Hundreds of bells, ring in exultation Ring, all ye bells far down below Anshi: Glory to Akio in the highest Utena: Oh come on! Let us see it, Chuchu: Chuchu-chu chu, chuchuchu...chu? Wakaba: Oh please...can we please see it? Utena and Wakaba: The New Arena! *Ruka is sitting in the corner* Well I didn't want to see it anyway! Burn the Hall: By: Mikage Deck the hall with lots of wood, fa la la la la la, la la la la as those morons eat their food, fa la la la la, la la la la Grab it now, the flaming candle, fa la la la la la, la la la la Put it in the candlelabra, fa la la la la la, la la la la See the blazing hall before us, fa la la la la la, la la la la Listen to the screaming chorus, fa la la la la la, la la la la Join us now, Oh Tokiko, fa la la la la la, la la la la Watch the sky brighten so, fa la la la la la, la la la la Fast away the old hall burns, fa la la la la la, la la la la Taking with it a hundred nerds, fa la la la la la, la la la la Smile we evilly now together, fa la la la la la, la la la la Heedless of Akio's endeavor, fa la la la la la, la la la la I Saw Anshi Kissing Akio By: Nanami I saw Anshi kissing Ak-i-o upstairs under starry lights they didn't hear me creep from the bathroom to have a peep They thought I was in her bedroom, fast asleep Then I saw Anshi _touching_ Ak-i-o behind the couch so snowy white Oh, what a shock it would have been if Utena had only seen! Anshi getting down with Akio... Last... Night! __Warning, you will be spoiled if you read this!__ One Long Night by: A-ko and B-ko One long night the stars were brightly shining but Anshi stayed in, cuz Utena was out long was she gone; in Akio's car riding 'til they stayed the night, despite her many doubts A thrill of sweet surender, the weary girl gave in she knew she shouldn't, it was such a sin. But... he was seductive, he knew her too well he merely played her, now she's in hell. Oh save yourself, please try Utena, try. If you don't we all will die. Oh Try! Please, please Try! if you don't...we all could die. Miki, the Genius Pianist Sung by: Juri To: Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer Juri: *being forced on stage by her cast members* I said, I'm NOT doing this! NO! Utena: Come on! We all have to do one! Miki: *flushing* It could be worse! Juri: *sighs and looks at waiting audience* Fine. *clears her throat and begins to sing in a lovely (if droll) alto* Miki, the Genius Pianist liked many shining things, and if you ever saw him you'd hide all your rings. All the other council used to smile and call him names, We rarely let poor Miki near any open flames. Then one dark Ohtori evening Akio came to say: "Miki with your fingers so light, won't you play for my party tonight?" Then the council groaned for all the sparkly things there "Miki, watch out, be careful! Don't go near there!" Juri: *stops and turns to the curtains. She's cool but obviosly upset.* _This_ is how it ends?! You forced me out on stage for this?! *She throws the pages up in the air and huffs off stage.* Utena: *Wipes a bit of sweat off her brow* Man, I'm glad we didn't ask her to sing, "I saw Anshi kissing Akio" Nanami: *grumbling* Don't remind me... My God the Arena's So _High_ by: Utena Sung to: Ding Dong, Merrily on High Utena: *Wheezing as she climbs up the final ten steps* My god, the arena's so high! Have you tried climbing? My god, I really wanna die, the ground below is so frightening! Even so, there down below Is that Miki waving? And eek! oh, oh, oh, the stairs won't stop swaying! I'm gonna fall I have a hunch if these stairs don't stop! I'm gonna loose my lunch If I don't fall off the drop! Nanami: Why didn't she ever use the elevator? Touga: Shush! That comes later. *ogling Utena's rear as she clings to the top in a fit of agoraphobia.* *Kate: Final one...for now. *Bwhahahahahah...erh...ahahaha...um. Yes* Original Lyrics to We Wish you a Merry Christmas: We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, And a Happy New Year. We all know that Santa's coming, We all know that Santa's coming, We all know that Santa's coming, And soon will be here. Cast: *all with pained looks* We wish you a happy Revolution, We wish you a happy Revolution, We wish you a happy Revolution, Since the gang is all here. We know that Apocolypse is coming, We know that Apocolypse is coming, We know that Apocolypse is coming, You need not fear. Akio: There! Are we done yet?! Katie: CUt! That's a rap. Utena: Thank god! My throat is sore. Wakaba: *walks by in an elf costume* Hey, Katie! Can I keep the bells for when it's my turn to sing? *begins singing* Jingle bells, Saionji smells, Nanami laid an egg! Katie: My god...what have I done? 'TWas the Night Before Revolution 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Ohtori not a duellist was stirring not even Shiori the swords were all polished, with hope and with care with hopes that Revolution would soon be there Our dean, Ohtori Akio was nestled, snug in his bed with visions of odd orgies dancing in his head and Anthy with Chuchu, without me they were deeply snuggled under mountains of blankets, a fact that was much puzzled When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter that I fell off the bunk to see what was the matter I yanked up the window, I glanced all around But nowhere in sight was the noise-maker to be found "Tsuwabuki," I groaned to the now silent night surely he's put Nanami in some plight and even now tries to enforce brotherhood "Perhaps he'll succeed, I wish he would." But I was wrong, a thing I soon learned When who should appear but a person oft spurned by my slumbering roomie below in the dorm a green man appeared now strangly formed "On Miki, on Juri, on Touga, and Kanae," "On Shiori, on Nanami, on Dios, and...Blitzen!" "To the top of the Arena, to the top of the bells!" "Let's hurry, let's scurry, and escape this prison hell!" So shouted the insane, green-tinted man flapping his arms around and again "He's gone," I heard a voice say, with a start I jumped to find Touga in my way "We never should have revoked his council seat," at his words I felt my cheeks suffuse with heat but pointedly ignored the proud president and watched Saionji as with his bokken he went Suddenly, I heard on the roof, a tap, a tap as if by a hoof I ran to the stairs, up them I sprang when closer to the roof there came a loud clang Opening the trapdoor, what should I see but a be-ribboned Dios and Miki tied to a tree and a note, hanging from Miki's stopwatch upon reading we two fell back a notch To Utena, and Juri, and those at the Utena Forum We wish you Happy Holidays, and hope you score-ummmm well, that doesn't quite rhyme But Happy Holidays, New Year, and have a GREAT TIME...