Shoujo Kakumei Utena and all characters are property of B-Papas, Saitou Chiho, Shogaku-kan, and TV Tokyo. Please do not repost without permission. http://www.chaoticempire.org/landover -------------------------------------------------------- MAGIC LANTERN BUTTERFLY MOTH by Gerald Tarrant lordofmerentha@yahoo.com "Hello." There was no emotion in the voice on the other end of the line. "Hey...It's me." "I'm sorry," the voice returned. "I'm afraid I'm getting ready to go to bed. You caught me at a bad time." He knew that the other wasn't really getting ready for bed. He knew that the other knew that he knew. But still, it felt good to pretend that all was well. Good in a hollow sort of way. "It's all right. Good night." "Good night." There was a click and then the dead sound of the dead line ringing in the stillness, and he hung up the phone. Hesitant footsteps in the doorway, then a head peeking in shyly. "Did your call go all right?" "It was fine," he said, then realizing he sounded harsh, smiled briefly at her. "Thank you." He thought she blushed, but wasn't sure in the dim light. It didn't matter anyway. "Are you going to bed?" "In a minute," she said, stepping fully into the doorway, dressed in flimsy white nightgown. "I have to finish my math homework." "I can't help you on that," he said before she could ask. "I'm horrible at math." She didn't believe him. She thought he was trying to worm his way out of the situation. Her eyes were sad. "I really am," he said. "Promise, Wakaba." He hoped he sounded sincere. "It's all right," she said softly, and smiled wanly at him. "Good night, Saionji-san." Before he could say anything else she was gone from the doorway, hurrying back to her own room. He heard the door shut quietly. The stars were bright in the sky tonight. For a brief moment he wondered what it was that made people lie, then stood up. His legs were cramped from sitting down so long, and he needed fresh air. He hadn't been outside all day. Couldn't, while it was daylight and someone might see him and report him to the proper authorities, but it was almost two in the morning now and the inhabitants in the surrounding rooms of the girls' dormitory would be asleep. He closed the door of the room softly, as not to disturb her or let her know he was going out. Wakaba was a very protective girl, and she would certainly not be happy if she knew he was venturing outside. He wanted to make her happy. For once in his life, to make someone happy. Was that too hard a request? The dueling Forest was a huge black mass in the moonlight and he leaned over the dormitory balcony wearily, staring at it, as if staring would make it materialize in the dark before his eyes, or maybe cause the castle of Dios to appear in the sky above him, glittering brightly like gems. He had been to the Arena at night only once, and he was surprised at its ethereal beauty. One never noticed things like that during duels. He'd go there again, but that was one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences, the kind which was always remembered perhaps better than it really had been. One of those that could never be duplicated, and if he had tried to repeat it, he'd simply have come away disappointed. He wondered when he had stopped caring. It was a gradual process, and not all of it was entirely Touga's fault. When he had started losing interest in the duels, and in the Council, and finally in the Rose Bride. He had thought he was in love with her, but now he wasn't entirely sure what being in love meant, and until he found out, he should probably not think about any human being that way. Glancing at Wakaba's window. Her light was still on. Perhaps he should go inside and help her, just for the principle of it, but no one he had ever tried to help had ended up any better off. She was so innocent and pure, it was a pity. She didn't know what she was harboring inside her room, didn't know what she had agreed to when he had told her he would accept her offer. He looked at his hands on the railing, white in the silver moonlight. Raised one hand and flexed it. His fingers had always been thin, but now they looked like sticks, like bones without flesh. He was losing weight. He should eat more, but he had no way of getting food, and the portions that Wakaba scrounged up for him were never enough. He was grateful to her for trying, anyway. What had possessed him to call tonight? //I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm getting ready to go to bed.// Touga never went to bed this early. He usually went to bed around four in the morning, woke up at ten. Sometimes he slept until noon and skipped a few classes, but the teachers didn't care. If he had tried to do that, the authorities would be hot on his trail, but it was something that Touga alone could get away with. Many things were like that. He'd vowed to put the past behind him, but for some reason he had been weak tonight. He had always been weak. There was the sound of a window opening, and for a moment he could hear indistinct voices, then a swell of music. Laughter. The window shut and the music cut off suddenly. It had been a man's voice speaking and then a woman's laughter. He thought of Anthy, suddenly, not sure why he did so, and then glanced up at Wakaba's window again. There was a shadow moving there on the curtained glass, wavering like a candle-flame. Like a moth too close to a candle flame, if he was the flame and she was the moth. If she came too close to him, she would be hurt. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already had. //You caught me at a bad time...I'm sorry...I'm getting ready to go to bed. Getting ready to go to bed...// He wasn't sure what he would have said if Touga had actually wanted to talk. How are you doing? Maybe, how's your sister? Or, what's happening in school these days? How many girlfriends do you have now? Are you still trying to get Tenjou to notice you? Or maybe, are you still getting letters from the Ends of the World? The sound of a dream dying was like the sound of a candle flame going out, he supposed. A small gasp, a puff of smoke. And then silence. Sighing, he turned away from the balcony, from the forest that squatted ominous in the moonlit darkness. He should go to bed. To get ready for another day of...what? Of nothing? //I'm getting ready to go to bed. I'm sorry...// //Good night.// There was only a slight flicker as the light in Wakaba's window went out. ------------------------------------------------------------- This fanfic was inspired on a whim and is one of the shortest things I have ever written (1 and a half pages in Word in 10 pt Times New Roman) but I think it gives a bit of a glimpse into Saionji's mind. Even in a short fic like this I like to have Saionji interacting with people and thinking about them. It's not often that we actually see him on screen so every word he speaks really means something. Saionji/Wakaba fics are also relatively rare on the net, though this one doesn't really count as one. Title taken from Wakaba's duel song, Magic Lantern Butterfly Moth 16th Century.