Glompophilia
by Laurie Gerholz

The Ohtori campus mall thronged with students on lunch break.  Spring 
was shifting to summer, but the heavy heat had not settled in yet.  The 
students could hardly wait for release from classrooms to get out and 
embrace the fine weather.

Utena Tenjou and Anthy Himemiya strolled along the mall, bento 
lunchboxes in hand, looking for a suitably comfortable patch of lawn.  
Utena lifted her bento to her nose and sniffed.  When Anthy packed 
their lunches, Utena liked to see if she could guess the contents 
before she unwrapped it.

"Pickles," Utena said.

"Yes," Anthy confirmed, smiling. "What else?"

"Come on, Anthy, you know I'm not going to be able to tell by scent 
alone, not over pickles."  Her head snapped up as her ears detected the 
sound of pounding feet fast approaching from the rear.  Utena sighed.

"Here, hold this, would you?" she asked as she handed her bento box to 
Anthy.  "I'd hate to drop this and be out a lunch."  Utena stopped 
walking and shifted into a braced stance.  Just because Wakaba was 
lighter than her, didn't mean she couldn't knock Utena off balance at 
the speed she usually attained.

Smiling indulgently, Anthy carefully gathered the two bento boxes into 
her arms.  She stepped away from Utena and looked back at the figure 
rapidly approaching.  Her eyes widened, disbelieving.

"Miss Utena, that's not --"

"UUUUTEEENNNAAAA!"

Utena barely had time to register that the cry of her name wasn't 
nearly as high-pitched as it should be, before a large form cannoned 
into her from behind.  Prepared for being grabbed, Utena's arms were 
out in front of her and were the only thing to save her face from the 
concrete as the unexpected mass smashed her forward to the ground.

"Wa...Wakaba," gasped Utena, painfully pushing herself up on her 
forearms.  That was as far as she could move, as the person who had run 
her down was still firmly seated across the small of her back.  The 
person, who was unaccountably much larger and heavier than Wakaba could 
possibly be, bounced once and Utena squeaked for her abused ribs.  She 
carefully, warily, looked back over her shoulder...and tried to blink 
away what had to be a hallucination.

Her eyes took in the pert teal-and-white Ohtori girl's uniform, the 
bright blue eyes, the long scarlet hair pulled up into a high 
ponytail...*blue* eyes...*red* hair?

Again all Utena could manage was a squeak.  "Touga?"

"Who else," bubbled Touga in an uncharacteristically chirrupy voice, 
"but your bestest friend in the whole world."  He looked to the side, 
"Oh, not excluding you, Anthy."  Touga giggled.

Utena shifted to look at Anthy, who was now kneeling next to her and 
staring ashen-faced at Touga.  Realizing Utena was watching her, Anthy 
turned to her, extending a hesitant hand to Utena's shoulder.  "Are you 
all right, Miss Utena?" she asked.

"I think I *will* be," growled Utena, "once *somebody* gets off my 
back."

Touga giggled again, and hopped off of Utena.  Utena carefully stood 
up, scowling as she brushed dirt off of her skinned knees.  Anthy also 
stood, unobtrusively keeping Utena between her and Touga.

Utena studied Touga, trying to make sense of what her eyes were telling 
her.  Touga just stood there, his own lunch box clasped in front of 
him, rocking back and forth on his heels like Wakaba tended to do.  He 
indeed was wearing an Ohtori girl's uniform, complete with scarf, puffy 
short sleeves and flippy pleated skirt.  Utena noted that it seemed 
perfectly tailored to fit Touga's larger frame.  Lace-trimmed ankle 
socks and black strap shoes, again sized to Touga's build, completed 
the ensemble.  Exactly how Wakaba would normally accessorize, she 
realized.  Touga had also affected Wakaba's high ponytail.  But not 
having Wakaba's bouncy curls, his long silky hair instead draped 
engagingly over one eye and floated in an elegant streamer down his 
back.  Touga smiled brightly under Utena's scrutiny, completely at odds 
with the sly, knowing smile he usually wore for her.

Even in drag he's kind of sexy, thought Utena.  Gah!  What am I 
thinking?  This is *Touga*, albeit a very...disturbed...Touga.

Utena finally found her voice.  "Was--" she squeaked.  She cleared her 
throat and began again.  "Was there something you wanted, Mr. 
President?"  Be polite, Utena reminded herself, let's not rile him.

"I just saw the two of you and thought we could eat lunch together."  
Touga held up his wrapped bento box.  The cloth wrapping was printed in 
bright yellow fuzzy chicks hopping out of broken eggshells.

"Lunch," repeated Utena.  She turned to Anthy. "Is that okay with you?"

"Of course, Miss Utena."  Anthy had resumed her characteristic 
composure, but to Utena her gaze seemed a bit too fixed, and her smile 
a bit too stiff.

Utena looked about for a shady spot that was still in clear view of the 
mall.  A nearby maple tree filled that bill.  Leading her companions 
towards the tree, Utena surreptitiously glanced around.  Why weren't 
they attracting a crowd?  Every time Utena's gaze met that of another 
student, that person quickly turned away.  Everyone was keeping a 
careful distance.  She wondered if Touga's reputation as the Student 
Council President, and arguably the most powerful student at Ohtori 
Academy, was enough to keep people from making a scene at his expense 
even if...no, she corrected herself...*especially* if he had finally 
lost it.

The trio was about to take seats on the grass when Utena again heard 
her name being called.  Looking around, past Touga, she saw that this 
time it was truly Wakaba, in the company of Tatsuya.  Seeing that Utena 
saw them, Wakaba grabbed Tatsuya's arm and hurried him towards the 
group at the tree.

"Hey, you two," called Wakaba, skipping around to face Touga.  She 
stuck a hand out to him.  "Hi!  I'm Wakaba Shinohara and this is 
Tatsuya Kazami.  We're friends with Utena and Anthy.  Did you just 
start at Ohtori?  I'm sure I'd have remembered you..."

Touga broke in, giggling, took Wakaba's hand and pumped it.  "You're 
being silly, Wakaba.  I've been at Ohtori longer than you have.  But 
join us for lunch."

Wakaba snatched her hand back as if he'd bitten it.  "T-Touga Kiryuu?" 
she stammered, inching back next to a staring Tatsuya.

"Who else?" said Touga, with a head toss to flip his ponytail back over 
his shoulder.

Wakaba slowly examined Touga from toe to head, paying particular 
attention to the footwear and the skirted uniform.  Was he wearing 
*mascara* to give him that wide-eyed look?

Utena was sure that Wakaba's scream was audible to the far corners of 
the campus. 

Thirty yards down the mall, Saionji dashed out from around a building.  
He paused to focus on the sound and he saw them.  Even at that 
distance, Utena saw his jaw drop, and he raced towards them.

"Touga", gasped Saionji as he approached, "what in the world are you 
doing?"

"We were about to sit down for lunch," replied Touga.

Saionji looked around at the others, clearly shock-stricken.  He spoke 
quietly to Touga, "I'll just be a moment here.  This time *don't* go 
anywhere."

"Okay," agreed Touga.

Saionji stepped away from Touga and considered each of the others in 
turn:  Anthy, holding the two bento boxes, Utena, by now standing with 
hands on hips and one eyebrow raised inquiringly, Tatsuya looking 
utterly confused, and Wakaba hovering wide-eyed and nervous behind him.  
Saionji bowed deeply to them and said, "On behalf of Touga, I apologize 
to each of you.  This shouldn't have happened."

Utena's jaw dropped.  She turned to Anthy, saying, "Now I get it.  I'm 
still asleep and this is all a dream.  That--" and she pointed to 
Touga, "was weird enough, but Saionji apologizing?  Can't be real."

"Well, excuse me for being considerate!" he snapped.  "I trust no one 
was hurt."

"Oh, no, sir," Tatsuya finally said, but kept a protective closeness to 
Wakaba.  "Touga seems, well, not quite himself today.  But he doesn't 
seem dangerous.  To anyone else, at least."

"Unless you count my knees," said Utena, extending one leg to show the 
abrasions.

"How did that happen?" puzzled Saionji.

"The big ape *jumped* on me!  Just like Wakaba does, but he's ten times 
heavier."

"Am not," pouted Touga.

"Sure felt like it," snapped Utena.

"But that's the extent of your injuries?" said Saionji, glaring at both 
Utena and Touga.

"Thankfully, yes."

"Then I really should get Touga home," said Saionji and started to turn 
back to Touga.  Utena grabbed the front of his jacket and yanked him 
down to her eye level.

"No," she said, low and dangerously.  "You said 'this shouldn't have 
happened.'  Meaning, you *know* how he got into this state.  And now 
you're going to explain it all to us."

His eyes locked with Utena's, Saionji angrily brushed her grip from his 
jacket and stood back, straightening it.  The staring match continued 
until Utena prompted, "Well?"

Saionji dropped his gaze first and muttered, "I suppose I do owe you an 
explanation.  Maybe you've noticed how withdrawn Touga has been 
lately?"

"Not really," said Utena.  "He's been so withdrawn he hasn't even shown 
up on campus.  And his sister won't say anything."

"Um, yes.  I finally convinced him to come and spar with me at the 
kendo hall.  As I'd hoped, the activity and competition started to perk 
him up.  Unfortunately, instead of concentrating on the match, he 
started drifting back to his latest obsessions."  Saionji glared at 
Utena, "Do you know how obnoxious it is when he starts blathering about 
you?"

Utena held up her hands, palms out, "Hey, don't blame *me* for his 
little dominance fantasies."

"Anyway, I *warned* him to keep his mind on the fight, but he just kept 
going on and *on* about 'how can I get her attention?' and 'how can I 
win her?' and 'she lets that friend of hers jump on her and grope her 
why can't I?' and--"

"Hold it!  Wakaba does *not* grope me, you idiot."

"His words, Tenjou.  But that's when I...it..."

"You what?"

"I...um...I really thought Touga would parry."  Saionji wouldn't look 
Utena in the eye now.

"You didn't..."

"Cracked him right across the skull.  Dropped him in his tracks.  I 
called Nananmi and we had him taken back to the Kiryuu estate.  She 
*really* let me have it, let me tell you."

Utena almost made a comment comparing this incident to the time Touga 
had taken Saionji's blade while shielding her in the Duelling Arena.  
But seeing the look on his face, she stopped herself.  Saionji was 
clearly sick with guilt, and mocking him for it would serve no purpose, 
no matter how much they disliked each other.

"And so," concluded Utena, "he now is acting out his last 'complaint' 
about me."

"So it seems."

"But why is he here?  You said you took him home."  That was Wakaba, 
who had finally calmed down enough to venture a question.

"He was still unconscious when we got him home, and Nanami called a 
doctor in to examine him.  No concussion, thankfully.  So we put him to 
bed intending to let him wake up on his own.  But then we were 
downstairs and by the time we went we went to check on him, he'd 
vanished."

Utena muttered something about "incompetents".

"Don't start with me, Tenjou," warned Saionji.  "I've got enough to 
deal with here.  As soon as we realized he was gone, both Nanami and I 
came to the campus to search for him."

"But where did he get that uniform?" asked Wakaba.  "It's clearly not 
brand new."

Saionji shook his head.  "I have no clue.  Frankly, that's the least of 
my concerns right now."  He returned his attention to Utena.  "Can we 
go now, *Miss* Tenjou?"

Utena's mouth twitched in irritation, but she bit back a retort.  Touga 
may be a complete jerk, but he was unwell and shouldn't be running 
around.  "Yeah, you better take him home."

Saionji nodded to each of them.  "Then good day to you all.  Um...
thanks for finding him."

"He sort of found us," said Utena.

"And if anyone sees Nanami, could you let her know I've got him and am 
taking him home?"

"Of course," said Anthy.

With a resigned sigh, Saionji turned back to Touga.  "All right, old 
friend, time to go."

Touga smiled at him and linked arms with Saionji.  "I'd wondered where 
you were, you know."

"You did?" asked Saionji, startled.

"Mm-hm.  I missed you."  Touga turned to face Saionji and laid his head 
against Saionji's shoulder.  "But it's okay now," he murmured.  "You're 
here."

Saionji's eyes flew wide open, and for some moments kept shifting a 
shocked gaze back and forth between Utena and a contented Touga still 
cuddled against him.  Finally Saionji smiled and experimentally slipped 
his free arm around Touga's waist.  Touga sighed happily and cuddled in 
closer.  Saionji spoke quietly with Touga so that Utena couldn't hear, 
but Touga was nodding and running his fingers along the decorative 
cords of Saionji's jacket.

A low strangled noise was coming from Wakaba, and she turned to 
Tatsuya.  "I think..." she began, glancing back at Saionji and Touga, 
"that I've been under some severe mistaken assumptions about certain 
men around here.  And...and...I think I've been ignoring someone else 
and that was really stupid of me."

Tatsuya blinked, disbelieving.  Then he smiled and took Wakaba's free 
hand in his own.  "Maybe we should have lunch by ourselves and discuss 
this?"

"Yes.  Yes, we should," said Wakaba, squeezing his hand in return.

Tatsuya looked to Utena and Anthy.  "If you two would excuse us, we 
have a lot of talking to do."

"That's great," said Utena, "but what are we going to do about Touga?"

Tatsuya stepped next to Utena and dropped his voice so Wakaba couldn't 
hear him.  "Do we *have* to do anything about him?  Those two seem 
pretty happy, and Wakaba's finally looking at *me* instead of Saionji."  
His eyes were pleading.

"Well, yes, but..." stammered Utena.

Anthy finally spoke up, "Mr. Touga hardly seems inclined to pester you 
in his current state."

"That's true," mused Utena, "aside from jumping on me, that is."

"Tenjou."  Saionji was suddenly at her side, his face hard again. "If 
you make the slightest move to interfere with Touga, I *will* kill 
you."

"Wh-what!  Your threats don't scare me!"

"So you really want him chasing you again?"

"Of course not!" Utena threw up her hands. "I give up.  Just get that 
loon out of here."

"I was about to."  Saionji returned to Touga and slipped an arm around 
Touga's shoulders.  "Oh, about Nanami," Saionji called back.  "Do you 
think you could wait, oh, a couple hours before you tell her that 
Touga's been found?"

"Sure, sure," said Utena to their retreating backs.  Tatsuya and Wakaba 
had already departed.

"Miss Utena?" prompted Anthy.  "Perhaps we should eat before we have to 
return to class."

Utena took her own lunchbox back from Anthy.  "Great idea."  She 
decided she didn't want to dwell on why Saionji had made that last 
request.

*****

Anthy finished describing the events of the previous day's lunch break 
to her brother, Akio.  She calmly sipped her tea and watched him over 
the rim of her teacup.  He'd been pacing restlessly since she'd begun 
her tale, and didn't seem inclined to stop.

"Damn!" he growled.  "Anthy, this is intolerable.  How are my plans 
supposed to proceed if I lose my--"

"Boy toy?" suggested Anthy.

"*Assistant*, I was going to say."

"I don't know that anything can be done about it," said Anthy, with a 
shrug.

"You could do something."

"No, I cannot.  As the Rose Bride, I must follow the wishes of my 
Victor.  Utena explicitly agreed to not 'interfere with Touga', as 
Saionji put it.  Therefore, I must not either."  She smiled at Akio.  
"Your rules, dear brother.  And besides, they make such a charming 
couple."  

Akio's face was turning an unusual shade of purple.  Made a nice 
complement to his hair, Anthy thought.  And it *would* solve a number 
of problems if he had a stroke right then and there.  

"And you should be thankful, brother, that no one asked *me* where 
Touga acquired his cute uniform.  I would have *had* to answer 
truthfully, don't you think?" 

"Urgh!"

Anthy finished her tea.  She gathered up the cups and saucers onto the 
tray, and took the implements to the kitchen.  Returning to the main 
room she recovered her book satchel and moved towards the elevator.

"I assume you'll be coming to visit on Saturday evening," asked Akio, 
"that not everything around here has been turned upside down?"

"Of course," said Anthy, stepping in to the elevator. "But I'll be 
late.  We're having guests for dinner and I'm cooking."

"Who?"

"Saionji and Touga.  They both have become much more pleasant people, 
and Utena thought it would be a good chance to re-establish 
relationships with them." Akio snorted in disgust as the closing 
elevator doors separated them.

As the car descended, Anthy pondered her menu plan, working out which 
herbs and spices would be most ammenable to cementing the new-found 
relationship.  She was sure that no one could possibly construe such as 
"interference".

-END-

-----------------------------------------------
-Author's Notes-

Comments and criticisms always welcome.  Flames will be laughed at 
and cheerfully ignored.

Shoujo Kakumei Utena is copyright by Be-PaPas, Chiho Saito, 
Shogakukan, Shokaku Iinkai, and TV TOKYO. English licensing by 
Central Park Media/Software Sculptors.

Laurie Gerholz
milo@winternet.com
http://www.winternet.com/~milo