Author's notes: Well, after seeing Scott's excellent Juri piece, I was inspired to tackle one of my favorite long-standing topics from Utena- the nail-biting and utterly DISTURBING events of episode 33. Anyway... hope you all enjoy this; comments are always welcome. (utena@duellists.tj) ========================================================================== It was hot, very hot that day. Out of all the shocking things that were to happen in those 24 hours, somehow to Himemiya Anshi the heat stood out longest in her memory. The wind was still, dead, as if holding its breath; the fullness of the summer sun, like a giant swirling rose in the sky, shone down harsh from a bed of razoredged clouds and jagged blue. Anshi stood on the empty platform where the train had been only a few moments before; she could still see it lingering like a ghost-image of grey metal, feel its presence awash in her senses. Oil smell and steam-hiss, the rhythms of departures and arrivals, people moving to and fro in their lives. Were any of them going to a fate as final as Utena-sama's would be? For she and Utena had parted here, with a careless embrace; she had sent Utena to the Dean. To the Ends of the Earth. From now on, Himemiya Anshi knew, none of them could ever be exactly the same. Why had she done it? Why had she willingly guided Utena by the hand to destruction? The Bride of the Rose still didn't know for sure. She *did* know she was tired of watching Utena put herself through hell for an impossible dream. She knew Utena was doomed to be sacrificed no matter which way the Revolution turned. She knew that she thought Utena was getting too close, and wished to divert her. She knew that she was ambivalent. She knew also that she was tired of Akio coveting Utena and of trying to contain Akio within herself. She was tired of all of it, wasn't she, this miserable Bride? Oh, yes, definitely. But that too was only a fragment of the whole truth. She was fit to explode with contradictory feelings about the entire game- but Himemiya Anshi was truly surprised to find that of them all, the most prevalent one rising ... was deep mourning sadness. She found herself there, standing below the sun with her hand was pressed to her heart, and her emerald eyes stinging with tears. There was no one about to see her pain. No one around on the silent platform to see those hot tears burst and flow along her cheeks. She let them run without making an attempt to stop them, just as she had let Utena go. These tears were like that, like painful realizations... and like most realizations, they had come too late. I thought I was the one who laid the trap, Onisama. But your trap was better hidden even than mine. You know me so well. And now... now... I've given you all that you desire. Oh, Utena-sama.. forgive me... forgive my blindness.... "Now Cracks A Noble Heart..." inspired by Shojo Kakumei Utena episode 33: 'The Prince Running Nights' story by utena@duellists.tj -- * -- It's all in the presentation. A trap can be composed of nothing more than a simple loop of rope and a branch- but if the hunter lays his disguise with care and detail, putting a artisan's effort into his task, you won't know the trap is there until you blindly stick a foot into it, and feel the knot tighten around your ankle. Words likewise can be traps, even simple words that taken on their own sound harmless. So can emotions, properly exploited and turned against their origin. It's all in the presentation. And Himemiya Anshi, the ruling, suffering queen of silence and secrecy, knew everything there was to know about the presentation and execution of traps. She attended to her plots and plans with the same methodical diligence and endless patience which she applied to all things. Her trap was to be camoflaged by a simple question, made of simple words that could not possibly elicit suspicion toward herself; thus, both the trap and its maker were concealed in a single gesture. The true beauty of her plan was that... her intended victims would trap each other. All she had to do was move them to position together, and let them loose. Anshi thought with bemused satisfaction that perhaps Akio would be pleased by the elegance of her spider-silk snare. Perhaps he would, if it weren't for the fact that she planned him to be caught and devoured in her web as well. The violet haired girl in her white school uniform casually glanced to her left. There at her side, patient but somewhat bored-looking, stood her Victor, Ten'jou Utena, the pink-haired siren of Ootori Gakuen who held a clumsy but undeniable power over all that surrounded her. The pastel-headed Duellist was gazing deeply at a bush of white roses in flower nearby, with thoughts moving over the surface of her blue eyes in a shifting film of emotions. Yet, her Bride knew her Victor better than the Victor knew herself; Anshi was well aware of what occupied Utena's thoughts. To hide her study of the other girl, Himemiya continued to tend to the flowers. Utena was thinking of Akio; his influence upon her shone everywhere, in her eyes, her scent, the set of her body. The dean and the duellist had been seen together far too many times in recent days. Anshi recalled having caught them kissing once, in the sun-drenched courtyard after classes were over, and though she had wanted to, she had done nothing to intervene. She had only hidden herself in a shadow and watched hungrily, spellbound biting her lip while Utena sank back across the front seats of Akio's car, surrendering to his seductive words and the greater power of his silent kiss. Himemiya had been filled with a strange bitterness and jealousy directed toward her Victor and her brother, hating them both as much as she loved them at that moment. She was Utena's virginal Bride during the day and Akio's whore at night, and she played both roles to please their needs and whims- but despite her best efforts, neither of them truly loved her. Their fire was meant for each other; she knew it to be true and hated them both for denying her a share of the pyre. Had she been a different person, she might have confronted them directly, threatened to expose them, but that was not Himemiya Anshi's way. She buried her pain, and it was in that bitter ground that her trap had sprung forth and bloomed. Now, Anshi saw the painful light of desire building within Utena's eyes. Suppressing curious thoughts as to what would happen if she simply moved forward and took control of her Victor's passion, something that would have been very easy to do, instead she waited. It was directly at the peak of Utena's rising tension that Himemiya carefully set down her watering can, and bent to pick up a previously hidden bouquet of flowers, cradled in ferns and baby's breath and wrapped in a rose-pink plastic. She smiled serenely, and laid the bare steel of the trap in the path before Utena's feet. "Utena-sama, if I might ask you a favor?" Utena turned, blinked at her Bride, startled out of her (admittedly) juvenile romantic fantasy, and smiled, after a moment. Embarrassed to be caught daydreaming, not paying attention to her surroundings, quick, too quick, to make amends she almost tripped over herself. "Sure... what's up, Himemiya?" She stepped forward. *snap* -- * -- Utena fanned herself with her hand unhappily, the dusty air giving her little comfort, as she cradled the bouquet of roses in her hand and glanced about the train station. It was almost unbearable in the heat; she'd finally been forced to surrender her beloved black jacket and red shorts in favor of sandals and a short white tank-top dress, white, lined with narrow red horizontal stripes. The sun overhead felt oppressive, pressing down on her like a heavy hand, and the complete stillness of the air didn't help, either. Cicadas cried out against the day and the heat. "Let's see.. where...?" -- * -- "Where am I going again?" Utena asked, her back to the Bride as she leaned forward and rummaged through the closet she shared with Anshi. She dismissed several hanging pieces of clothing for having long sleeves, or a dark, heat-absorbing color, and finally settled on something at the back of the closet. Easing the dress and its hanger onto a hook, Utena slowly opened her jacket, slipping each button open with careless fingers, starting at the neck and working down. She cursed as a bit of her pink hair was caught around one of the buttons. "Here, let me help you with that, Utena-sama." Casually, Anshi slipped up behind her Victor, and gently reached her hands up under Utena's arms. The scent of roses enveloped her, alarming; Himemiya's heart jumped in her chest for a moment. Always, always came the prince wrapped in the scent of roses... Her dark fingers trembled as she attempted to ease free the entangled strands of Utena's long hair. "It's quite tangled, isn't it.. ah, there we are..." As the jacket slipped away from Utena's shoulders, she caught herself staring at the soft curve of the Victor's neck for a moment. "You should be more careful, Utena-sama." she murmured. "You're right, I was careless. It was just so hot..." Utena breathed, exhaling relieved to have the heated fabric away from her flesh. "Arigato, Himemiya. I was acting hastily. I'll be more careful in the future." Will you, poor, blind Utena? Will you *really*? After today... in a few hours.. you will no longer be a prince... only a woman... An impulse, sudden and strange, took control of Anshi, and she hugged herself to Utena's back, her arms closing tightly about the pastel-headed girl's waist. She wanted to breathe in the aura of the prince a little longer; she wanted to remember Utena in this way, proud, free, beautiful and shining. For all of that was soon to end. It was an embrace to say goodbye, maybe even to apologize in a way for her part in things. She clung to her friend, tightly, closing her eyes, her nose in Utena's hair, and she felt the old stirring pain of the million swords of hate within her breast. Utena blinked, blushed, taken off guard; she turned her head back, looked over her shoulder, one hand resting over Anshi's. "Ne, Himemiya... are you okay?" Anshi, had she been another person, would have laughed, but as ever she restrained herself. It wasn't that the situation was funny; far from it. It hurt to be looked at by the Victor's blue eyes; hurt to see the caring set of those pink, small lips. The sheer *concern*, the almost blind innocence. The look of a lamb before the slaughter. Anshi suddenly wished herself a million miles away; meeting those eyes just wasn't possible. She pulled back and released the other girl. "Gomen nasai... Utena-sama." She *was* sorry, suddenly. Sorry for everything. She no longer wanted to go through with her plan; she realized it would be the end of everything for Utena, for Utena's hopes, her dreams. The prince would die, because of her. Just as Akio had always threatened... but Himemiya Anshi could no longer stand between Utena and her inevitable fate. "Don't apologize, Himemiya," Utena smiled warmly. Damn her for being so *kind*! Why couldn't she see what was happening? How could she *not*? Damn her. Himemiya bent down, stepped back, forcing herself to calm by the rote of subservience; reached for and retrieved Utena's jacket from the floor. She folded the article of clothing neatly, precisely over one arm and reached over Utena's right shoulder to take an empty hanger from the closet. Damn me for being so weak. "The roses are for my onisama in town, Utena-sama." Anshi replied mildly, changing the subject, forcing herself on as she hung the Victor's jacket up on the wall. "He asked me to put them together for him, and I was very careless in forgetting to see that he had them with him before he left." Suddenly Anshi hated the mealy-sounding tone of her own voice, the sugarsweet coating she put over her poisonous falsity. She might as well have driven a dagger directly through Utena's breast; perhaps that would have been the kindest thing to do in any case. Oh, god, how she hated herself now. But that was nothing new. "Ehh..." Utena sighed, making a face. "I had better get going then, hadn't I..." She reached for the dress at her side, and moved to the bathroom to change. "Will you write me a map so I know where to go?" "Of course, Utena-sama." Anshi replied calmly, standing back with her hands clasped low before herself, the light reflecting from her glass lenses and blocking her eyes from view. -- * -- Brushing the sweat from her brow, flowers still cradled protectively in the crook of her arm, Utena stood before the threshold of the hotel to which Anshi had given her directions. She glanced from the ground up the length of the tall white tower that looked so similar to the one back 'home', on campus. Maybe it was just the heat, but she almost thought that she hadn't actually left the campus at all... of course, that was merely a reflection of how well the school fit into its surrounding city. In the background, in the distance, a carnival had been set up; she could see the spinning, reflected light of the ferris wheel and the skeletal structure of the rollercoaster like black bones against the too-bright sky. She whistled, impressed at the setting, and stepped forward through the gates, bounded by still and heavy air. -- * -- Anshi returned to the campus with her head bowed; she walked briskly through the central courtyard full of lounging, sunbathing students. As ever, they watched her contemptously- she felt their eyes, their cruel whispered voices as harsh probes under the relentless sun. She ignored this, contemptuous of them, and moved forward, onward. Trying not to feel that she felt she was marching to her own death. And then... they appeared. She saw them shining like a heat mirage in the distance, just far enough away to be identifiable but completely unreachable. Beautiful ghosts, harbingers. Dios. And Utena. They were laughing, speaking together of something; their lips moved without sound. Utena pulled her jacket slowly onto her shoulders, unaffected by the heat of the summer sun. Her ruby shoulderpads' white tassels moved slightly in a breeze that did not reach to Anshi or to the grass of the courtyard; the Victor's lips and eyes shone crystalline as she faced her prince. They turned together, bowed in sweet and courtly grace, kissing each other's outstretched hands, then turned their backs to Anshi's horrified eyes, and disappeared... no... *faded away*, evaporating into the heat. Leaving for a better place, the illusionary world, moving to walk a road trod by so many that had come before them, but that none would ever follow. They had been the last of the true and noble hearts. And now, they were gone, both of them... forever... because of her. Startling those in her immediate vicinity, Himemiya Anshi put her hands to her mouth and let out a genuine cry of shock and horror. The swords of hate within her breast stirred and slashed at her heart. Her legs creaked; she felt as if she had been ripped from the earth, an uprooted plant. Her legs thin, brown, dry, fragile sticks as she broke into a run... ....until she stood in the doorway of the room she shared with Utena, and... and... Utena's tailored jacket was gone. Gone. Only the empty grey-metal hanger on its wall hook remained... swinging slowly to and fro, chiming very softly as it collided again and again with the wall. *ping*.... -thump- *ping*.... -thump- *ping*.... The sight punched through the Bride of the Rose in a tangible blow that sent her reeling back from the room, into the hallway, through the door to the planetarium; she tripped and dizzily crashed to the floor of the darkened observatory, yelping as her glasses flew from her face and skidded across the carpeted floor to disappear into the shadows. Utena-sama, Utena-sama! She jerked her head up in horror, eyes helplessly widening as the shutters came crashing down over the windows with a sound like the sealing of a coffin, thunderous and utterly inescapable. All light died; all escape, too, as she heard the doors SLAMMING behind her. Heard the buzzing pre-concert whisper of an audience, the low murmurs of a hundred, a thousand people... Then came the low hum of the generator within the planetarium device- a sound she could feel vibrating through the ground, buzzing through the air. The room was filled with a pale, low blue glow as the machine activated. And an image began to take shape on the ceiling, filling the entire space of the dome above her head... No... no, don't you DARE do this to me, oniisama.. Don't make me *watch*... *SNAP!* closed the trap around her ankle.