My gracious lord...

You mock and undo me and I let you.  You move your hands, slide them to my
waistband and I let you.

You whisper how only I can understand as we struggle together, sheets and
tangles, watching the one we desire from a distance. Each of us thinking
of her, substituting her virginal glowing body in our minds. Reveling in
her efforts, her battles, her pain with the bitter bliss of the jaded, the
sated, the eternally amused. Of course we both wish to be her first, the
one to claim her body and soul.

Maa, I understand truly; far better than you think.

I am a courtesan, a woman-of-the-court in the shoulders and hips of a man,
a courtesan of lethal grace. I hold my pretty victims in thrall with the
smallest gesture of my hand, a toss of my hair, which I grew so long and
clean for you. Because you worshipped it, because you seized it between
your fingers, because it felt like silk and shone with purity. When we
first met, anyway.

I am your confidante, your partner, the ear you whisper to in the cool
night, when the weakness takes you and you cravenly desire to be punished.
You are wry and weary; your smile is always edged with pain. I am not sure
if I pity you, love you, or hate you- or if I feel all of those feelings
at once. Emotions tend to become unclear in your presence, as if you
obscured the clear thoughts of the heart.

I am your toy. Many would consider this state sheerly unbearable.  Many
would consider it sick- and perhaps it is.  But none of them understand.

Because you need me, you have come to rely upon me. On my constant
presence as your crutch, your naked slave.

I am the Devil's concubine.

But because you need me, my sweet Devil...

I am also your master.



--------------------------author's notes---------------------

I wrote this after wondering what a love letter to Akio would look like if
it had been written by Touga. But since then, I've had a lot of people say
it seems to suit Anshi just as well... it seems I can't write much without
Anshi's shadow falling over the piece, my my...

-utena@duellists.tj