Books and Papers of Consequence The book belonged to Miki. It lay face down on the table, a purple book mark placed between the pages. It was old, the time worm pages an ochre yellow that crackled against the fingertips. They didn't align correctly, the spine bent out of shape and held together by masking tape that peeled and creaked. Miki picked it up with a blush, running his fingers down its spine nervously as Utena popped a cookie into her mouth and turned to speak to him. For a while, he couldn't hear her, her voice rising slowly, slowly, slowly until it caught his attention. "But don't you have a math test tomorrow, Miki...?" He coughed. He could feel his blush biting at his cheeks. "Well, yes, but... ah, you see... Himemiya wanted me to bring her this book..." He could feel his hands tighten around the spine of his book, his gaze turned towards the floor as Utena scratched her head and talked with her mouth full and seemed so enviably at ease. Everybody seemed so enviably at ease. Utena talking to herself about going to the library at twelve thirty and the math lab and did he understand how to graph logarithms and Himemiya's pet mouse scampering about licking up crumbs and gurgling in its throat and Himemiya sitting quietly by herself, sipping her tea and gazing at him. Deep green seas of enviable ease. She smiled at him and he felt himself start. "Hai, Utena sama. I asked Miki san to bring us this book. I think we'll enjoy it." Utena seemed sceptical. She pulled at her socks and at her shoe laces and wanted to when they would find time to study because the logarithms seemed so easy that she was scared to death of them. Himemiya smiled and placed a hand over Utena's wrist. That seemed to calm her. She ran a hand through her long, pink coloured hair and turned to Miki. "So what's the book about? Gotta admit, I'm curious now." Chu chu gurgled from his sauna in Utena's tea cup, his tail twisting and knotting into little hearts of delight. "And Chu chu's curious too." Miki looked down at his lap. It looked so small, a dip and a few lines and some bone. He coughed once and set the book on the table. "Well, it's, ah... It's a story book. Kozue and I would read from it every night. I showed it to Himemiya once and she told me perhaps should enjoy it if we could, ah, read some of the stories..." His voice died out, Himemiya's steady, gentle gaze nurturing a desire to get up as quickly as possible and run away. Maybe go mad somewhere. He wanted to laugh. Utena picked up the book, leafing through it carefully. It looked like a very old book. Much older than Miki and his twin. Maybe she shouldn't touch it so much. It could crumble to dust. She flipped it back to page eight, where the first story began, and set it on the table. "Yokkai. Here we go. Ano... Who goes first? Hmm. I know. Miki kun." Himemiya clapped and smiled, so he knew he had no choice. He looked up once into her luminous green eyes, once at Utena's expectant, open face. His story began like this: Once there lived a very old woman. She kept a cat and three hens, although she could not remember why. She lived by the river and caught fish, although she could not remember who had told her to do such a thing. She lived in a house made of wood and clay, with a garden by the front gate, but she could not remember who had built the house for her. Sometimes she remembered the word tyrrehenianususu, but she couldn't understand who it was or what it meant, if it meant anything at all. She couldn't remember. "Poor little old lady. I can commiserate with her. Sometimes I can't remember where I left anything. Lost my math book once." Himemiya held a finger over her lips. "Hush, Utena sama. Let Miki finish his story." And she smiled as Utena bowed and apologized all over herself. One day the little old woman received a visitor. She heard the knock on the door rap up and down four times. Rap rap rap rap. And she got up from where she sat by the fire place and made her way to the door. Outside stood a young lady, long auburn hair plaited and decorated with flowers. She held a basket in her hands, a brightly coloured handkerchief covering what was inside. She smiled at the old lady. "Would you like to buy a pie, good woman?" and she lifted the handkerchief to reveal three pies nestled within the basket, the hot juices sifting through the cracks, hot and delicious. The old lady was very hungry and she looked at them with longing, but she had no money. "I'm sorry," she told the young lady. "I don't have any money to buy your pies." The young lady smiled. "That's all right. The Student Council meeting was cancelled for today, anyway," and so saying she stepped in through the door and looked around for a seat because she was bone deep tired of sitting and listening and it was then she noticed that everyone was looking at her. "What's wrong?" Juri Arisugawa stopped in her search for a place to lie down and looked at the others in the room. Something seemed strange about them. Utena's mouth hanging open, Miki's eyes blinking in rapid succession. She turned to Himemiya, who sat quietly by herself, sipping some tea. Himemiya wouldn't tell her much, but she picked up a book that had been lying on the table and held it out towards Juri. "Would you like to read a story?" she asked. Juri drew in a breath, letting it out slowly. Miki had ceased his blinking, but she could see Utena scratching her head, sketching mental paths between the door and here and now and the book in Juri's hand and sitting cross legged on the floor. Juri flipped a few pages in the book and came to a title that interested her. She was being granted permission to stay. "Very well. Der Mauer im Musinktothik. If Utena will sit still." Musinktothik was a very old town and a very old town it was, for the age of the town was as old as the town was old for its age. The citizens of Musinktothik took pride in the age of their town. They measured it by a huge brass clock and placed a brick at the edge of town for every minute the town was as old as its age, until there arose a great wall around the town. "Our town must indeed be very old," the citizens of Musinktothik said as they looked upon their towering wall, each brick gleaming in the sun. "Our town is as old as time itself, older than the winds and the oceans and age. Our town is a marble. Our town is nonsense. I could have sworn I had put it right there. Right there by the trash can. It disappeared. Damn it. I'm just not lucky." Kyoichi Saionji placed his hands on his hips and decided he needed to glare at something. Anything. He caught sight of Chu chu's tail disappearing inside Utena's abandoned tea cup and he walked towards it, kneeling down to glare at the insides of the cup, hapless mouse swimming in tea and spitting it out at his eyes. Damn that mouse. "Saionji...?" He grumbled under his breath, rubbing tea from his eyes. "Yeah, it's me. Who else would it be? What, is it so terrible that I'm here. I'm not going to attack anyone, so relax people." Juri leaned back into the pillow she had arranged behind her and offered Saionji a cookie. "I thought you were going to clean up after the meeting. The spill reached the entry hall." Saionji munched on his cookie and ignored Juri's question. He could feel a pair of eyes on his back. Utena. When he turned to look at her, he found her counting away at her fingers, pointing at him and then at Juri and then at the door and the tiles and herself sitting cross legged and she looked at him as if she wanted to stop seeing him. It annoyed him. He took up another cookie and turned his attention to the book lying on the table. "Well, well. A story book. So this is what you guys do with your afternoons off." He flipped a few pages, reading a bit here and there. He could feel Himemiya's eyes on him and he looked up. He didn't like looking up at her. It hurt. But he couldn't help it. She looked beautiful, dainty and gossamer frail and framed by the sunshine and she was smiling at him. At him. He flipped through the book again. He wanted to read a story. Himemiya wanted him to read a story. Because Mr. Munglethrops could not pay the rent, he had to sell the house. It was an old house, it had been his and his father before his and his grandfather's before his father and his great grandfather's before his grandfather and it had come to him and that's what mattered the most. But the land lord would not hear of any excuses and on the fifteenth of august he had to pack and stand on the curb, but wasn't it a beautiful curb? He had to pack and stand at the curb, because roses grew in that curb, ne? He had to pack. And stand on the curb. Utskushi. He. Had to pack. Had to pack and. I wonder what he packed? Had to pack, damn it. He had to pack. If he packs anything like you, I'm surprised he even got out of the house, Saionji chan. The words pulled away from him, his teeth on edge as he looked up at the others sitting around him. Utena and her quizzical blue eyes. Miki and his demure composure. Juri and her elegant stretch and why are you stopping. Himemiya and her beautiful silence. He glared at Chu chu. "Ok. Who did it?" Utena blinked. "Eh? Did what, Saionji kun?" She watched him run his gaze around the room, a hounded expression on his face. His eyes seemed to dilate and come back to themselves several times. He was beginning to scare her. She turned to Himemiya. She was smiling. A tight, pleasant little smile. Miki was smiling. Juri was smiling. They were all smiling. She wanted to get up. Something was wrong. Something didn't feel right. The room felt too large, shifting and yawning and wrapping around her. She could feel her heart beating beneath her uniform, slowly, slowly, giving length to each second and she wanted to shake the others and snap herself out of it. She didn't like it. Didn't like it at all. She could feel her heart slowing down, a tight sensation running down her spine. Hands. It was hands. Very long fingers. Someone was picking up the book. Soft footsteps and the release of a breath and she couldn't understand. What did you say, Saionji? "Maa, seems as if I've arrived just in time." Utena blinked. Around her, the room had stretched out to its normal proportions, sunlight streaming through the open windows. Himemiya sipped at her tea. Miki and Juri were talking. She could hear Saionji's voice, raised in a hot whisper against a person in the room. Someone behind her. She tipped her head back. Red. Red hair against a white uniform. "Touga?" He turned and smiled down at her, Saionji's words forgotten. "Moshiron. Of course it's me. Pleased to see me?" Saionji stood up and moved away from them. "You ruined my story. That was you wasn't it?" He sat down beside Juri, folding his hands over his chest. He could see that Touga had already made himself quite comfortable beside Utena, smiling graciously as Himemiya offered him cookies and tea, his laughter ringing in his ears as Utena asked him how he had come into the room. Gracious laugh, gracious charm. Saionji wanted to scream. Reach out and tear into that smug, handsome face and just laugh and laugh and laugh. He saw him open the book, flipping through it before he smiled and lifted his eyes to Himemiya. Her name is of no importance. She had no land to call her home. Her parents had died when she was but a young girl, the long funerary procession burned into her mind as she walked behind them and cried. She had no one to go to. Once she had wanted to travel to the ends of the world and back, find a winged pony and fly into the sun. But now she had no one and no one to go to. The days would drift by one after the other, a symphony she had been certain she could play. She knew she had to do something. Ideas would come and surface and disappear in her head, peeking out at the stars with curiosity she could not understand. She often thought about a coffin, velvet lined and filled with roses, dew and soft petals keeping her warm and safe. It was the coffin she thought about most often. But she wasn't worth it. Not at all. If she were worth it she'd be studying like she should and not leaning so close to you. Touga closed the book. "Hidoi, Nanamai. You don't have to be so rude." A sniff came from the door, followed by the hollow click of high heels over the tile floor. Nanami walked to where her older brother sat, casting Utena a disdainful look as she squeezed in between her and Touga, elbowing her aside for good measure. That Utena didn't seem to mind in the least didn't bother her a great deal. That Touga's eyes seemed hurt by the way she put her arms around his neck and pushed away at Utena with her feet and purred that she was lonely bothered her a little. Just a little. "Ne, you guys seem to be enjoying yourselves so much with Himemiya's little book. I want to read a story too." She stood up, making sure to stay where she was, between Utena and Touga. "But I won't read it from Himemiya's book. I know it by heart." She smiled, ignoring Himemiya's hurt look as the book she offered was pushed away. She saw Utena place a hand over it, looking down at the floor in silence. That made her smile. Saionji shifted in his corner, eyebrows knitting together as he saw Touga sigh at the floor before turning his eyes to Nanami. Juri coughed behind him, re-arranging her pillow from the knot it had become. Miki took out his stopwatch, murmuring to himself that it had almost been three hours. He turned to look out the window. The sun had set. He blinked, one hand reaching up to pull at Juri's sleeve, his mouth unable to form the words he wanted to say. It was nine in the morning. He was sure of it. A clock chimed out nine hours into the night and Nanami began to speak. Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess. She had long, long golden hair and luminous eyes. Everybody loved her. They would line up for hours outside of her palace and praise her. She was so beautiful. But she had no prince. Bu hu. Bu hu. How she cried. Bu hu. She dreamed of a prince in a white horse, dressed in white, tall and handsome and blue eyed with long auburn hair. Sigh. She dreamed about it so often that it always disappointed her to find that she did not have him yet. So, she decided to proclaim a royal ball. All of the handsome young men in her kingdom would be invited to come, in the hopes that she would at last find her prince. But... ah, one roses walked across the terrace. Um, no. The ball. The ball was splendid. Everybody lined up to tell the beautiful princess what a wonderful job she had done with the frog tea on the floor. She was standing in pudding. No, ah, she was beautiful. The prince was there. Pudding and rice. Oishii. The prince was tall and handsome and he took her in his arms and she was sagging with relief and her head was resting against his chest and she was... she was... pudding and rice... Nanami's head came to rest gently against her brother's chest, his hands cradling her close and up as he stood to carry her from the room, her breath slowing in sleep. Utena looked up at them as they passed, Chu chu scampering around her legs. "Is she all right?" Touga looked down at the quiet face of his sleeping sister. She seemed so peaceful. So different. "Yes, she's all right. I just need to take her home. It's late." Utena scampered to her feet. "Late?" She looked around in panic, searching for a clock, for the sunshine she remembered from that morning, when Miki had been reading. Moonlight came in through the window, resting over Anthy's curls as she dozed on the table, Chu chu tugging at the glasses she had forgotten to remove. Utena blinked. Something had happened. Something wasn't right again. She padded slowly towards Anthy, bending down to make sure that she was asleep. Her breathing was even. She looked so peaceful. The others had gone already. She probably hadn't heard them go out. Anthy looked so peaceful, a smile playing across her lips. She guessed she didn't mind that she had lost track of time a bit. "Hey, Touga, mind if I walk back to your house with you?" The night air was cool, the faint fragrance of roses drifting in the wind. They walked in silence, Nanami fast asleep in her brother's embrace, the scuffle of their shoes muted by the evening's still. Utena walked with her hands folded behind her head, gazing up at the night stars as they twinkled and folded in and out of themselves. "Ne, Touga. Do you believe in happy endings?" She turned her head to see the reaction is his face. His eyebrows had knitted together somewhat, his lips thinning. She didn't often see him look thoughtful. He answered at length, his voice deepened by the quiet. "Yes, I suppose I do. I guess it depends on what happiness means to you." "Was the girl... The girl without a name, in the story you read, did she have a happy ending...?" She stopped in her tracks, her hands lowering to her sides. She saw him stop as well, the moonlight dyeing the edges of his hair a soft pink, like hers. She frowned. She didn't know why she had asked that. She wanted to take the question back. Silence hung between them, a thousand little words making their way between them, unsaid. He took a step forward. She rubbed at her hands. "Forget it. That was silly..." "She had a happy ending." She heard him walk towards her, the echo of his shoes against the path ringing in her head. She wanted to draw away. She knew what he was going to do. She didn't want him to. Her eyes closed tightly and she felt his breath against her face. His lips pressed against her forehead, once, a light touch before he straightened again and began to walk away from her. She heard him walking away. It took her some time before she raised her head and looked at him, Nanami's feet resting against his hips as he carried her. She found it hard to move, to breathe properly. She ran a hand across her forehead and frowned slightly. What should she feel? She didn't know what she was feeling. With a sigh, she turned on her heel. She had to return to Anthy. She found her fast asleep, Chu chu curled beside her. He had managed to remove her glasses, and they lay beside her, open. Utena folded them closed. Miki's book still lay on the table, the moonlight dyeing the cover a deep purple. Like Anthy's hair. She picked it up, flipping a bit through the pages. She could hear Miki and Juri and Saionji and Touga, and even Nanami. She had passed up her chance to read. She flipped a few more pages, stopping at a story whose first page was dog eared. She smiled, placing a hand over Anthy's hair, stroking it gently. "Yokkai, Himemiya. I'll read this for you. It has a happy ending." March 31st, 1999. Wrote this on a whim, from roughly 8 till 10:29am on a Wednesday. I think I dreamed about the idea, or maybe I just toyed with it while walking around. A bunch of fanfics just start writing themselves in my brain. This one's lucky I could write it. Heh. Being a first draft, though, it's probably less than perfect. Still... I enjoyed writing it. If you have any comments, any at all, please had them in to the Ohtori Academy Library Student Loan Office and an answer will be dispatched as quickly as possible. Assuming Chu doesn't eat it. http://www.geocities.co.jp/AnimeComic/7086/tbmail.html @March 31st, 1999 Team Bonet. Shoujo Kakumei Utena is @1997 BePapas and Chiho Saito. Feel free to link this story, but please do not use without permission... although I have no way of knowing if you did, so why am I bothering...? Mouu~ Thank you for reading. I'm in your debt.