Saionji Kyouichi and Kiryuu Touga. Set about a year after the ending of Shoujo Kakumei Utena. Title taken from the piece Kami no na wa Abraxas, or "Legend of the god Abraxas," the music that plays during Touga's chick speech in the elevator. Shoujo Kakumei Utena and all characters are property of B-Papas, Saitou Chiho, Shogaku-kan, and TV Tokyo. Please do not repost without permission. lordofmerentha@yahoo.com http://www.redrival.com/landover -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ABRAXAS by Gerald Tarrant The kendo practice room was always dark because the tree by the window hadn't been trimmed in years and the branches brushed against the glass, obscuring any natural light that might try to force its way in between the leaves. During daylight it was all right, but at night it forced one to turn on the lights. He didn't like that. The practice sword was a shadow in the deeper blackness and he closed his eyes, feeling the forms, mind a blank. Focusing, in the beauty of the dark. It was like dancing. A rap on the door, and he paused, hand shaking a little. There was sweat rolling down his face, and he wiped it away absentmindedly with his sleeve. "Who is it?" "What are you still doing here, you idiot?" "Oh," he said, dropping the sword with a careless gesture, facing the far wall. His voice echoed slightly along the empty rafters. "It's you." "I called your house." Touga said. He could just barely make out the other standing in the doorway, one hand on the doorframe. "You are aware we have a lit test tomorrow?" He shrugged. "Yes. You are also aware I have a kendo tournament in two days?" "Bullshit," the other returned. Shoes clacked on the floor and the door slammed shut as Touga took up new residence by the wall. "You weren't practicing. I saw you. You were just messing around." He smiled slightly. "You have sharp eyes, if you can see in the dark." Bending, he picked up the sword and made his way slowly across the floor of the room, hoping no one had left any sharp objects on the floor earlier that he could trip over. "How'd you get here? I thought your car was getting fixed." "Walked." He had to grin, at that. "Kiryuu Touga, reduced to walking. What a sight." A snort from the darkness. "And I suppose riding a bike is much better?" He shrugged. "It's faster, at least." The sword rack was full and he couldn't find the opening where he had taken the practice sword out. Giving up, he dropped it on the floor again and shrugged out of his shirt. His uniform was in the corner where he had left it. "Maybe I should turn on the light?" Touga murmured from behind him. White lines in the darkness. "Don't you dare." The discarded uniform smelled of sweat and he needed to take it home to have it washed. Slinging his bookbag over his shoulder, he jerked his head towards the door. "Did you want to study?" "If you have time." He grunted. "You know if it weren't for you, I'd be failing right now." "I know." A smirk. He sighed. The school grounds looked different in the darkness, but he made his way out into the moonlight without much trouble, stopping to adjust his bag. "We'll have to ride my bike." "We?" Raised eyebrow. "Whoever said I was going to ride your bike?" "I'm not going to leave you behind. Besides, it'd be pretty stupid if I arrived at your house ahead of you, wouldn't it?" "I don't see why not." A pause. "Oh," Touga said. He could hear the grin in the other's voice. "You're worried about me walking home by myself, aren't you?" "Shut up." His bike was in the far corner of the quad and he unlocked it, trying to ignore the boy standing a few paces away, silhouetted by the full moon, long hair ruffling slightly in the breeze. Like a moon god. "Hop on." "You sure?" "Would I be asking if I wasn't?" Another pause. Then, "We're older than we used to be." "I know," he said softly. Then more roughly, "Just get on, will you?" Touga shrugged and seated himself on the back of the bicycle, and he pedaled slowly out of the courtyard, gathering speed as they went down the slight incline between the art and music buildings and were gliding down the main causeway in a shower of stars. The trees were dark on the horizon of hills, and far away the clock tower chimed. "Touga?" "What?" He changed his mind. "Nothing." "It's been a while since we did this," the voice said behind him, almost lost in the wind. "A very long time." Silken hair tickled his neck and he wasn't sure whose hair it was, just that it tickled. "Yes." "Do you ever wonder?" Touga said. "Wonder what?" "If we never came to Ohtori...where would we be?" Touga, in a philosophical mood? He banked to the left, riding under the shadows of the tall trees and then over the bridge. "Where do you think? I suppose you wouldn't be the bastard womanizer you are today." "And you wouldn't be an arrogant, self-serving, son-of-a-bitch." "Freak." "Idiot." He laughed. "Forget it. You'd still be a bastard." "So would you," Touga returned, but he could hear the lightness of the tone. There was a flat rock in the middle of the road, and he aimed straight for it, hearing the bump of the tires with satisfaction. A grunt. "Ow! Saionji, slow down! You're going to get us killed!" Laughing like a maniac, he pedaled faster. The hair tickling his neck was definitely Touga's now, since his own was whipping wildly behind him, and he could hear his friend sputtering and spitting out hair. "Damn you!" He slowed, slightly. "Sorry." He made sure he didn't sound sorry at all. "Like hell you are," Touga growled, and he had to grin at the tone of voice, so unlike the suave, smooth-talking Student Council president. "You better watch your language," he cautioned, directing the bike onto a sidewalk. "Some of your girlfriends might be listening." Touga didn't respond, but he could feel him shifting his balance on the back of the bike. A car passed them in a gust of hot wind, and he shivered. The headlights were blinding. A red convertible, with white headlights. "Touga?" "What?" He sighed. "Nothing." "I wonder where all the time went," Touga said without even raising his voice, but speaking loud enough for him to hear. It was a Touga thing, he supposed, Touga with the smooth voice and beautiful eyes and charisma that had half the academy worshipping at his feet. "We're graduating next month...it doesn't feel like it." "I know." "Do you remember when we were in junior high? It seems like forever ago..." "You were in love with that high school girl. The blonde sophomore." "I remember. You used to tease me about her." "We made a bet," he corrected. The road was bumpy and the bike bounced a bit on the pebbles. "If you succeeded in asking her out, I would do your homework for a month." "It was never much of a bet, you know. She wasn't hard to convince." He shrugged. "I think the funniest part was the teachers wondering why your grades suddenly dropped from A's to C's. I told you I was horrible at math." Touga snickered behind him. "It gave me free time to go on more dates." He sighed. The Kiryuu mansion was gated, and he slowed, stopped in front of the driveway towards the house. Touga got off the back of the bike, standing, staring up the drive. "Well?" "Do you really want to study?" He blinked. "What?" "I said, do you really want to study?" "You were the one who wanted to study." Touga didn't move. "Let's procrastinate." He blinked again. "What with you tonight?" "I just don't feel like studying, that's all. I thought you didn't either." "I don't, but we're here..." Rough hands gripped his shoulders and he felt Touga climb back on. The bike rocked unsteadily. "We can always go somewhere else." The voice whispering in his ear. "Ne?" He rolled his eyes but started pedaling again. The white marble lines of the walls and the green of the drive faded away into the distance and the stars dusted the ground with silver. "Where do you want to go, Touga?" "Just somewhere." The wind whistled in his ears. "Anywhere." Pause. "The ends of the world." Something flickered in his mind and he frowned, trying to…but it evaded him and was gone. "What did you say?" "I said anywhere," Touga repeated, in the tone of someone patiently scolding a child. "Aren't you listening to me? You never listen to me." "Ah." The hill was just like he remembered it, and the tree had grown since he had been here last, almost four years ago. It had been a stout tree before, but now it was a giant, towering over the crown of a hill with branches that reached up towards the sky. He leaned the bike against it and touched the bark gently with one finger. Touga was standing a few paces away, head back, hands on hips. He left the tree. Shoes crunched on dried grass. Touga's eyes were closed. "Do you remember the last time we were on this hill?" "Ninth grade," he said automatically, hand going to brush the hair back from his face. "You'd just broken up with some girl. You were telling me about it." "Had I?" Amused voice. "I don't remember." "I'm sure you don't," he said quietly, scuffing at the grass with a toe. If he squinted, he could make out the faint outline of the Academy Chairman's tower on the horizon. The moon was rising behind it. "That was a long time ago." He didn't agree or disagree, simply turned away. Behind him the lights of the city were glittering. It was late, far too late to be out here. He should be studying. "A very long time ago..." Touga opened his eyes, dark and fathomless. "High school went by even faster than junior high." "Yeah." Feeling suddenly inexplicably tired, he sat. The grass was comfortably prickly under his fingers. "I don't remember much." "Me either." Touga dropped down beside him, crossing one leg over the other, elegantly suave even in the moonlight. Or perhaps because of the moonlight. One or the other. "Bits and pieces. Of girls, mostly." He felt like he had to laugh at that, even though the words made him feel nothing. So he did. The laugh sounded a little hollow, but it was all right. "Good for you." A grunt. "I suppose. It doesn't matter in the end, you know. They all fade away." "So you're saying I didn't miss much?" "Something like that." He punched Touga in the shoulder, sending the other sprawling. "Thanks." Eyes looked up at him through strands of dark red that pooled delicately on the grass like a river. A silken river. A waterfall. "I mean it. It's like..." A sigh as he pushed himself back up on one elbow. The white uniform had fallen open at the collar, pale skin made even more pale by the moon. "Like what?" "Nothing. Never mind." "Touga-" "I'm glad you're here," Touga said suddenly, and he looked at the other in the dark, faintly surprised by the change of tone, the suddenly serious voice of the bright, witty playboy who was never serious about anything. "I'm glad you're still here. After everything." He felt faintly embarrassed. "Yeah. Me too. I guess." "Kyouichi?" He didn't answer. "I feel old," Touga said at last. "According to everyone...our lives have just begun. But I feel old. I wonder if every senior in high school feels like this?" He watched the moon rise above the tower. The clock chimed faintly from far away, and the branches of the giant tree behind them creaked in an invisible wind. "Touga." He could smell the scent of roses blooming. "Where do you want to go, Touga?" "Just somewhere. Away." The scent of roses and then only a faint shock as the warm body pressed itself against him, the other's back leaning against his shoulder, head against his own. "Anywhere." "Ah," he murmured. The wind was cool against his bare skin. "To the ends of the world..." He knew it was past midnight when they finally made it back to the Kiryuu residence, and there were no lights in the mansion windows. Touga let them in, and he parked his bicycle in the hallway. It was dark and either of them could have turned on the light and saved a lot of bumping around, but neither of them reached for the switch. "I suppose we could study now," Touga said at last. "Would it help?" "Probably not." He set his bookbag down on the floor next to the bicycle. The banister of the spiral staircase was grainy to the touch, only slightly rough, and he ran his hand along it, once, twice. There were roses in the vase by the door. "Let's procrastinate." "Good idea." There was only the slightest hint of laughter in Touga's voice, but he knew the other well enough to catch it. They went up the stairs and turned the corner to his bedroom, tiptoeing quietly. He wanted to laugh. He felt like a little boy again, tiptoeing up and down the stairs at night after raiding the pantry for snacks. "What's so funny?" "Nothing." The curtains were still open over the large windows and the moon shone through them. He flopped down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The bed jolted slightly as Touga sat down, two thumps as he removed his shoes and threw them across the room to land somewhere in the indistinguishable darkness. "You're going to have to look for those tomorrow." "I know. I think one of them went in the trash can." He smiled in the darkness. "Idiot." "Freak." He watched as the uniform top sailed in the same direction the shoes had gone, landing in a heap of dull white. He sighed. "Saionji?" "What?" "You should probably go home. It's late." The mattress creaked as Touga shifted, rolled over. A face appearing above his out of the darkness, eyes and nose and lips phantoms of the night, and a strand of long hair falling gracefully onto his chest, touching him. "I should probably go home." "Yes. You should." Somewhere beyond the walls and the gates and the hills, the clock chimed. //Where do you want to go, Touga?// White hands, touching. //Somewhere.// White sighs expelled in a breath under the moon. //Anywhere...// White noise, fuzzing out at the edges of his vision and the ties of reality were loosened, and he slept. //To the ends...of the...// -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NOTES The first time I watched the ending of Utena it confused the hell out of me, but the more I understood it the more fascinated I became with the concept that no one really remembered anything about what had happened after things...went back to "normal." So this is my little take on Saionji's and Touga's friendship a year later. I've always been of the impression that they truly were best friends, and not even Akio could get between them, but there was a lot of pain and hurt that went on between them and the healing process takes time, though neither party could remember what actually happened. Call this an "amnesiac reflective" piece. As to whether this is at all shounen-ai...well, you'll have to decide that for yourself, ne? ^_~ This is my first Utena fanfic, and Saionji is my favorite character, so expect to see a lot of fanfics based on him when I get around to writing down all the ideas I have in my head. Arigatou! Feedback is welcomed and very much appreciated.