~*~ Ma Vie et Roses ~*~
                                Chapter One
                        "Sora kara Ochita Oujisama"
                     [The Prince who Fell from the Sky]
                              by Scott Johnson

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(All characters and settings except Skyler Sands and the state of Minnesota
are the creation of Saitou Chihou and BePapas. Publishing rights are held
by Shogakukan and Terebi Tokyo in Japan, and Central Park Media in the
United States. No challenge to these rights is intended.)

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[brackets indicate thoughts. Unless and until someone in the story develops
telepathy, they're always Skyler's.]
{brackets indicate, well, you'll see.}
Authors' Notes follow the Glossary

It was another miserable day in midwinter in Minnesota. Skyler cursed under
his breath as a passing car sprayed near-freezing slush onto his leg. At
least he had a job this month. He could buy some more computer time, and
save up for a VCR. Oh, and groceries.

He shook his leg to remove the worst of the slush, and plodded up the stone
steps to his apartment building. Skyler fished out his keys, as for a
change the "security" door was actually locked. Then it was up more stairs.

The landlord still hadn't gotten around to fixing the shower in the shared
bathroom, and Skyler made a mental note to complain again. He opened his
apartment door, and entered.

Ah, home at last, such as it was. The clutter of videotapes, books,
magazines, and other media greeted him silently, as it did every night. His
best friends, in a way. At least they never broke his heart.

Skyler made a quick meal of scrambled eggs, reading through his mail. Bill,
bill, sweepstakes ("I *wish*"), letters from a couple of his fellow otaku.
Big convention this weekend, too bad he couldn't go. And a magazine.

An anime magazine, of course. In Japanese, the only way to go, even if he
still had a preschooler reading level. Brightly colored pictures;
beautiful, exotic places; good-looking, exciting people that had adventures
Skyler could only dream about.

He frowned at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. 36 years old,
mousy brown hair, weak blue eyes behind thick glasses, slightly overweight,
and with the beard he'd grown simply because it was too dangerous for him
to shave. No girlfriend, no social life outside his hobbies, no prospects.

Skyler turned on the radio and listened to classical music as he leafed
through the magazine again. His eye fell on a pink-haired girl in a curious
costume. Utena, one of the new shows he didn't know much about. When he got
a VCR again, he'd have to try and get some tapes of it.

He traced the line of her cheek on the page. "So pretty...but I'll never
meet you. And even if I did, you wouldn't like me. Women never do." Skyler
sighed. Time to sleep, to allow him to get up in time for work again.

"I wish...I wish I could have an anime life..."

He sighed. "Ah, who am I kidding? My life's many things, but a
self-insertion fic is not one of them." His gaze lingered on the pages of
the magazine as he flipped through page after page of beautiful women.
Chuuka Ichiban, Nadesico, Virus, Rekka no Honou, Utena...Every new anime
out there, like every old one, filled to the brim with beautiful girls he'd
never meet the like of, adventure he'd never come anywhere close to,
*meaning* his life so often lacked...

[If only...] He thought to himself as his eyes drooped closed. [If only it
could be real, or I could be...]

Skyler dreamed that night--a strange dream, even as dreams go. There was a
wall, inlaid with a curious pattern--two large roses, with their stems
twining around each other. Strange, plunking music--like a simple music
box, repeating over and over--played, punctuated by strange chimes, or was
that a theremin? A spotlight shone onto the wall from somewhere he couldn't
see, casting the shadows of two girls, likewise unseen, onto the wall.

"Kashira, kashira!" said one of the girls, the one with a bow in her hair
and strange antennae. It was Japanese, but somehow, he could understand it
perfectly. Well, of course. It was a dream. "I wonder, I wonder! I wonder
how those beings from that `Earth' shall receive us."

The other girl, with two pigtails and similarly strange antennae, replied,
"They're strange beings indeed. Might they not run from us or hate us?"

"Why would they do that?" The first girl struck a dramatic pose, one hand
clasped to her heart, the other raised theatrically as she gazed into the
sky. "Are we not wise and benevolent? Do we not have the means to right all
the wrongs they have suffered? Will we not perfect their planet and raise
it to its place among the stars?" She pressed the back of a hand to her
brow. "Oh, the great lengths we go to to help others! Oh, such nobility we
possess! Let us go among them and demonstrate our greatness and humility!"

"Aye, sir!" The second girl saluted and pulled a lever on the shadow of a
bank of controls (had that been there before?) The first girl leapt forth--

To a plain defined by the shadows of strange, twisted and barren rock
formations. The second girl stood there already, wearing a different and
altogether stranger set of antennae.

"Kasei ni irrashai!" she called out in a cheery but robotic voice. "Welcome
to Mars!"

"Girk!" The first girl stiffened with a startled and frustrated sound,
giving every impression of just avoiding facefaulting.

And then he woke up.

Skyler blinked his eyes in the bright sunlight. [What a weird dream,] he
thought muzzily as he covered his eyes with an arm. [Guess anime's been
eating my brain too much recently. Wonder what time...]

That was when several things hit him at once.

It was far too bright to be anywhere near when he should have woken up.

It was, in fact, far too bright for him to be indoors at all.

He was lying on some extremely hard, flat surface--marble perhaps, or some
other stone floor.

He could hear a multitude of distant voices--a crowd somewhere in the near
distance, talking, laughing, arguing, going about their day.

He could smell the all-pervasive perfume of roses, enveloping him in their
scent.

He felt like he was wearing something far different than what he had
drifted off in.

For that matter, he felt *different*, period.

Skyler was on his feet and looking about wildly in a matter of seconds.
Something was very wrong here, as if that wasn't the understatement of a
millennium. For one thing, barring alien abduction or the like, one didn't
generally go to sleep in a somewhat grungy apartment and wake up in what
looked to be some sort of grassy courtyard, quartered by white marble
pathways and surrounded by buildings that looked half like a school and
half like the Parthenon, not to mention one thing that looked like a giant
glass birdcage. And more than that...

He'd always wondered, in his more idle moments, what it was like for
otakufic characters to find themselves in an anime. Did they remain the
same and encounter people who looked like what their favorite anime
characters would look like if they were real? Or did they become animated
themselves? And how did they adjust to walking about in a world with less
shading, more abstraction, and bolder, simpler colors?

In Skyler's case, the answers were no, yes, and not very well for the first
few moments, respectively.

"Wow." This summed up his immediate and heartfelt reaction.

Skyler looked down at himself. "Whoa, I've lost weight!" He was wearing a
tight-fitting jacket of some sort, white with lavender trim, and *tight*
lavender trousers, as well as highly-polished black leather boots. Not his
favorite color combinations, but interesting...There was a silver ring on
the ring finger of his right hand, decorated with a pink bas-relief rose
insignia.

"Roses...seems to be a theme around here." He looked around, and reflected
sunlight from the glass cage attracted him.

It proved to be a greenhouse of sorts, although the only thing growing
inside was roses. Roses of every shade, size and planting method.
"Definitely a theme." But if he stood just so, the glass made a fair
mirror.

And the first thing he noticed was that he'd left something on the ground
back where he'd woken up. He went back to fetch it. There turned out to be
three items. A manila envelope, curiously mundane for the surroundings
despite the pink rose seal (just like Skyler's ring...), a lavender leather
case with a carrying strap, and a crossbow.

The last item caused Skyler to raise an eyebrow...and realize he was
wearing his glasses. That was peculiar, since he always took them off to
sleep. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble here.

Looking more closely at the crossbow, he saw that it was not any of the
models he'd seen during Society for Creative Anachronism demonstrations, or
in sporting goods stores. It looked old-fashioned, but was definitely of
modern manufacture. The stock was a highly-polished oak, inlaid with a
lacquered rose design. The metal portions were a matte black, and in
perfect condition. But there was enough wear to show this was no exhibition
piece. This was a working weapon.

The case contained a dozen crossbow bolts, again in perfect condition, and
spare bow strings, as well as the cranking device for resetting the bow.

Skyler would've preferred a Colt or Smith & Wesson, if he had to fight, but
he could handle this...if he absolutely had to.

The envelope--but his curiosity about his appearance finally turned him
back to the glass.

Skyler blinked at a virtual stranger. His facial hair was gone, along with
the slight wrinkles he'd begun to get in the last few years. He was as slim
as he'd been in his high school years, but somehow not as scrawny looking.
He could have been anywhere from sixteen to nineteen, as he hadn't changed
much during those years, and the style he was "drawn in" now tended to
obscure the obvious marks. He did notice that his brown hair was cut in the
short style he'd favored since his stint in the Air Force, rather than the
shaggy mess from his actual high school days. It looked better with the
clothes he was wearing anyway.

That clothing looked a lot like a uniform, especially with the
old-fashioned epaulets, and the weighted cord going from one of them to his
breast pocket. All his pockets were empty to a cursory check. And those
shiny black boots were definitely uniform material. "But is it military, or
am I in the local marching band?" The fact that he was equipped with a
crossbow rather than a saxophone suggested the former.

Skyler's large (almost inhumanly so) blue eyes blinked from behind round
glasses. Another blessing, ones that flattered his face rather than the
black plastic monstrosities of his youth. He smiled, and was rewarded with
a gleaming set of teeth. His small chin looked good in this "art style", as
did his short, slightly upturned at the end, nose. He took off his glasses.
Yes, the small scar was still on the right side of his nose. Thankfully, it
hadn't mutated into a Captain Harlock lookalike, but it gave his face a bit
of distinctiveness that the "art style" had taken away from his general
features.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose, then redonned his glasses. Time to check
out the envelope. With any luck, it would have his briefing, or at least
tell him who he was supposed to be here...

The contents of the envelope were fairly minimal--a few sheets of paper, a
door key, and a square of some sort of fine cardstock, like a wedding
invitation. The top sheet of paper seemed to be some sort of form or
semi-personalized letter, beginning with "Welcome to Ohtori Private
Academy!"

Wait. No, it began with "Shiritsu Ootori Gakuen ni yoroshiku onegai
itashimasu!" But somehow the meanings of the kanji and kana were crystal
clear to him. [Japanese,] Skyler thought. [Okay, somehow whatever brought
me here taught me Japanese. This is getting stranger by the minute. More
familiar, okay, but still stranger.] His brow furrowed as he read through
the letter.

Welcome to Ohtori Private Academy! On behalf of the Board of Trustees and
the faculty of the school, we would like to congratulate you on your
acceptance as an exchange student, and your decision to attend Ohtori
Academy's high school program.

You have been assigned to High School First Year Class A, and your
dormitory room will be room #23, East Hall. Your tuition is paid in full,
although you will be required to perform duties as a teaching aide to the
Junior High classes in order to fulfill your work-study agreement.

We realize that finding your bearings in a foreign country can be difficult
and unsettling. As such, a student in your class has been assigned to guide
you around the school and answer any questions you might have. Until the
two of you can meet, you should use the enclosed map to guide yourself from
school to your dormitory and back. Welcome to Ohtori Academy, and welcome
to your future!

                                   Sincerely,
                                   Ohtori Akio, Chairman of the Board of
                                   Trustees
                                   Ohtori Kanae, President of the Academy

The map was a simple, sketchy diagram showing what looked to be the
building with his classroom--a sort of hollow square with a courtyard in
the middle, and a round building marked "Student Council Private Rose
Garden" in the courtyard. [So that's what that thing is.] A path apparently
led out of the school, east a few blocks and a little south, to a building
marked "East Hall." (Well, Higashi-kan, actually, but the meaning seemed
more important at the moment.) The key, marked 23, was presumably the key
to his room. And the card...the card was printed in a slightly elegant
script:

Your fate is not your own. Only with the Power to Revolutionize the World
can you prevent this dream from ending in tragedy.

[Cryptic, yet threatening. How nice.]

"Dream?" thought Skyler out loud. "But an awfully solid one, to be sure.
And I don't usually smell things in my dreams, so it must be someone
else's...best not to think about that too hard. Existentialism makes my
head hurt."

He took another look at the rose garden, behind its wall of glass. And then
focused on his reflection again. "I'm probably in an anime," he muttered,
but which one? Hmm...Roses, fancy uniforms, weaponry...and the art
style...probably Utena? Yeah, it has the French tagline about a
`revolutionary girl.'

"I should've gotten out the kanji dictionary and translated some more of
that article. I have no idea what the plot's about, other than dueling. The
look of it reminds me of Rose of Versailles. Brr, I hope not, most of the
cast *died* in that one."

He took out the map. "Time for a little orienteering. If I'm here, then
east must be this way. I'll probably be able to get more privacy to plan in
my room...out here in the open, I'm likely to get in--"

On cue, someone (male-sounding) shouted "Runaway kangaroo!"

Another man shouted, "There's a kangaroo on the loose!" It sounded fairly
close.

[Kangaroo? They have a zoo on the grounds too?] Skyler started walking in
that direction. [Time enough for plans later. Let's see the fun.]

Passing through an arched corridor out of the courtyard, Skyler emerged
into what looked like the athletic field. The bulk of the class buildings,
all built out of white stone in that same psuedo-Greco-Roman style, lay to
the south (assuming he was oriented right, while a large running track and
a few multi-purpose sports fields stretched out to the north, towards what
looked like the school walls and a very small forest beyond.

Nearby--close to the edge of the fields--a crowd had gathered around what
looked to be a newly-erected boxing ring of some sort. The crowd's outfits
were...interesting. They all seemed to be a school uniform of some
sort--the Japanese style, no less--but if that were the case, the school
colors apparently were teal, teal and teal. Teal jackets, teal slacks, teal
collars for the sailor blouses, teal miniskirts that would make a Sailor
Senshi slightly uncomfortable. Only the white puffed-sleeve blouses and red
tie-kerchiefs on the girls' uniforms broke up the sea of monochrome.

Skyler hurried towards the crowd, craning his neck to see what was going
on. The ring looked empty, so what...?

Oh. That was it. Out on the field, there was a rather pretty blonde girl,
probably about Skyler's apparent age, running for her life, a task made
rather more difficult by the fact that she was carrying a younger
boy--elementary school-aged--under one arm. And chasing them...

By this point, Skyler wasn't really surprised to see a full-grown kangaroo
hopping after them. The green boxing gloves were still a bit puzzling,
though.

"This is terrible!" he heard a girl with two brown ponytails, a little
further ahead in the crowd, exclaim. "Nanami-sama's going to get killed!
We've got to do something!"

[This is bad.] Reasonable caution warred with conscience and impulsive
chivalry in Skyler's head. He knew better than to mess with a full-grown
kangaroo--Skyler had a healthy respect for animals, and anything as big and
strong as a kangaroo could easily cripple a man. If he got in its way, the
least he could expect to come away with would be extreme bruising. The
trouble was, if he didn't two other people would probably suffer far worse.

And, to tell the truth, there was a small portion of his mind telling him,
[Come on, this is an otakufic! It must be! So this is the part where you
swoop in, save the girl, and end up the hero! You can do it!] which wasn't
exactly helping his concentration. For a moment, Skyler felt extremely torn
at best.

"Touga-sama!"

A girl's voice brought him out of his reverie. He turned just in time to
see a tall young man with red hair jumping into the ring, over the ropes on
the opposite side, and interposing himself in between the girl (Nanami?)
and the kangaroo, tossing his white jacket away as he did so.

He was pretty tall, though not much taller than Skyler, wearing only boxing
trunks, red gloves, and sneakers. He didn't hesitate for a second--while
the kangaroo was just starting to register the new obstacle and the girl
and young boy were turning to look at the newcomer, he pulled back
slightly, then delivered a crashing uppercut to the kangaroo's jaw, hard
enough to knock the tooth guard out of its mouth and flying through the
air. [A kangaroo with a mouth guard. Okay, now I've officially seen
everything.] The animal wobbled a moment, then fell to the ground.

For a moment there was silence. Then a great cheer, broken by the sound of
a ringing bell signaling the end of a fight, rose up as seemingly everyone
began shouting at once. The crowd surged forward almost as one to surround
the young man and those he rescued.

Skyler clapped too. One punch, very impressive. Silly, but impressive.

"Oniisama!" The blonde girl, having somehow gotten her hands on a
microphone for the field's PA system, was the only person Skyler could make
out over the roar of the crowd. She was gazing starry-eyed at the
red-headed man--her brother? Or was she the type that got off on calling
boys she liked "Elder Brother"?--who said something to her in response,
looking slightly amusedly smug as he accepted what looked like a
championship belt from the younger boy. The girl then turned to the boy.
"Tsuwabuki?" her voice rang out, "Let's go our separate ways."

Skyler couldn't hear whatever the boy's response was. But a few moments
later, the crowd parted to let the three--Touga, Nanami and Tsuwabuki, if
he'd put the names together correctly--through, walking side by side
towards the main campus, illuminated by the ruddy light of the sun just
starting to set as Touga pulled on his white jacket...

A jacket, Skyler suddenly realized, that bore no small resemblance to the
one he was wearing himself.

Touga glanced back over his shoulder towards the crowd, smiling to himself
as he looked at someone behind Skyler. But for a moment, just for a moment,
Skyler could swear their gazes met, and Touga's smile became a fraction of
an inch wider...

Skyler looked around. It seemed the show was over (someone had apparently
taken the kangaroo back to its pen when he wasn't watching.) Only a few
girls, one of them the one with the twin ponytails, were left, working on
some kind of sound system. One piece looked like a reel-to-reel tape
recorder.

[Hmm, okay, that tells me a bit about the tech level here,] thought Skyler.
The magazine pictures hadn't been too helpful in that regard.

Over to the west, a blue-haired boy, a pink-haired girl (actual day-glo
pink!) and a dark-haired girl with brown skin were almost around a corner.
[Could that be...? Too far now.]

He turned back towards the girls in the field, but shyness took over, and
he decided to let them be.

[Higashi-kan, then.] He was feeling rather tired for someone who'd been
awake less than an hour. [Of course, I don't know how long I was asleep.]
He wondered what the eating arrangements were.

[Let's see, back this way, and east...]

As he walked, Skyler began to think out loud again. "Okay, if I'm in an
otakufic, and that seems the most logical assumption at this point, things
will start happening soon, regardless of how much I try to avoid them. The
trick will be figuring out how to respond.

"After all, no one drags a guy across dimensions, de-ages and pretties him
up, teaches him a foreign language and equips him (even if lavender is a
ludicrous color) for nothing. Obviously, I'm meant to save someone, or fall
in love, or something of that sort. If only I knew the plot! If this were
Ranma 1/2, I'd know exactly what to do, depending on the point in the
series. Here, I'm pretty much lost."

Skyler passed a group of younger girls, smiling and nodding as he went
past. [Love a lady in uniform...]

Some of them looked at him interestedly and giggled slightly as they passed
him, murmuring to each other excitedly. He could feel himself just barely
starting to blush from the attention. It was definitely a different
reaction than he was used to.

As he passed out of Ohtori Academy through what was not so much a wall as a
connected series of arches, Skyler saw the city spreading out below him,
and a bright blue ocean beyond. Once past the small park-like band of
forest surrounding the school, the world definitely looked modern--paved
roads, the sound of auto traffic drifting up the large hill the academy
topped, even an ever-so-faint haze of pollution--not terribly much though.
The view reminded him of Monterey, but to the east rather than west. As he
descended into the city streets, he found himself for all intents and
purposes in a mostly-modern city--a fairly laid-back commercial and
residential district, but a good-sized city all the same.

"Of course, there are worse worlds to have ended up in, like Gundam," an
image of a SD-Skyler being squashed by a mecha foot popped into his mind,
"or Fist of the North Star." The SD-Skyler now had his head explode. "I
don't think people actually die in the duels here..." [At least not yet,]
he amended himself, remembering the mention of "tragedy."

Well, if the map was to scale, he should be seeing East Hall right
about...now.

There it was--a large white house (was that Colonial style, or was that the
one with all the pillars? Skyler couldn't quite remember), set back from
the street a little by a nice, large lawn and a few trees. A low wall and
unlatched gate surrounded the property.

[Interesting lawn decorations,] Skyler thought as he passed what looked
like a twelve-foot-tall replica of the Washington Monument set in a ring of
engraved Zodiac symbols. The setting sun made the obelisk cast a shadow at
about half-past Sagittarius. [Odd design for a sundial, but who am I to
judge?]

The dorm's foyer was large and elegant--two stories tall, with a balcony
running around the perimeter and an odd light fixture--like a twenty-sided
die with long pyramids on each facet, hanging from the ceiling. [Stellated
icosohedron,] his brain's useless fact department informed him as it
identified the shape.

Skyler noticed a window set into one of the interior walls. [Oh, right, I
think I saw one of these in...was it Koko wa Greenwood? Maybe. The hall
administrator's office ought to be through there.] A peek through the
window not only confirmed this, but established that it was almost
certainly years since anyone had used it, judging by the dust buildup.
[Okay, guess I'll have to show myself in.]

It took him a few minutes to find his way to the right room, set in a side
corridor on the second floor. His name was printed neatly in katakana on
the plate with the room number, along with a blank space
underneath--probably for a roommate, if he ended up getting one. [Okay,
they've definitely gone all out to show they were expecting me. Obviously,
*someone* wants me here--not that I didn't already know that, but
supporting evidence is always nice. Well, here goes nothing.] He slid the
key into the lock and opened the door.

A rat cocked its head at him inquisitively from the center of the room.

It wasn't a *complete* disaster area, he had to admit. Why, vacuum, dust a
bit, replace the broken panes of glass in the window, get the bunk bed and
desk repaired and refinished, sweep up the larger chunks of plaster,
replaster the ceiling, and board up all the holes around the baseboard and
you'd have a room that would still send brave men screaming in terror, but
only barely. Heck, give it a year's work, and it might actually be livable.
Maybe.

"Guess the Ohtori Academy budget didn't run past my front door." Skyler
swung the door experimentally, pleased to note it worked properly. He moved
to the desk, wiped off the worst of the dust with the side of his hand, and
set down his burdens. "Wonder if I have any other clothing in transit. Sure
hope so." He didn't look forward to having only one set of underwear and
socks, not to mention that white got dirty awfully easy.

"Going to have to do some fixing up before I can sleep, but in that case
I'm eating first."

He stepped out the door and locked it behind him (old habits dying hard.)
"Now, which way--"

There was the sound of a door closing downstairs. [Another person! Maybe
they can tell me where the mess hall is. At a guess, that's where everyone
is.]

He followed the sounds of movement down the stairs, around a corner, down a
short hall...and in to the kitchen.

It was nice enough, as kitchens go--fairly modern, fairly well-equipped,
immaculately clean. He didn't see a microwave, but there was an oven, a gas
stove, a refrigerator, a rice cooker on the counter, and a large sink. And
a young girl, vaguely familiar-looking, opening one of the cabinets and
turning to look back at the doorway.

She was fairly short--coming up maybe to Skyler's chin--but very pretty, in
an exotic sort of way. Her skin was a fairly dark brown, with an odd dot in
the middle of her forehead, and her purple (actual dark, glossy *purple*!)
hair was bound up into a sort of tightroll framing the back of her head.
She was wearing the school uniform and a pair of wide, round glasses that
did nothing to hide her shining, innocent green eyes. She smiled up at
Skyler. "Oh! I'm sorry. I don't believe we've met," she said brightly.

[Pretty girl. Major character. Don't fuck up.]

Aloud, "Um, er..." Then he remembered Japanese protocol. He bowed, and
said, "Hi! I'm Skyler Sands, and very pleased to meet you."

The girl bowed back. "Hajimemashite. Atashi wa Himemiya Anthy desu. Douzo
yoroshiku onegaiishimasu." Which was roughly the same thing as he'd said in
reverse.

[Anshii? No, Anthy. Who the heck picked that spelling?] For that matter,
why had he? It was as if the romanization had popped into his head without
paying much attention to the actual sound.

"I'm new here in the dorm. Do we cook our own meals?"

"Oh, of course not," she smiled as she took an apron down from a cabinet
shelf. "It's just that until now it's just been me and Utena-sama here, and
I cook for both of us--and Chuchu, of course. If Utena-sama says it's all
right I'm sure you could eat with us too."

"Utena-sama?"

"My roommate."

["Utena-*sama*"? I'd gathered from the pictures they were pretty cozy, but
"-sama"?]

"Ah." He watched for a moment as she busied herself with the
cooking--starting the rice, taking out a few vegetables, putting some water
out to boil. "So...it's just the three of you in a dorm this size?"

"Yes. The Student Council moved us both here. Before that, the building
hadn't been used for ten years, I believe."

[Exile?]

"Really? Well, that'd explain the state of my room, at least."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, just that it's sort of falling apart. You wouldn't happen to know
where I could get any cleaning--"

Before Skyler could finish, Anthy had rushed past him out of the room, a
look of extreme concern on her face. She returned a few moments later, now
looking quite upset, and began to cook at double speed. "I really must
apologize, Sands-sempai. I was sure I'd cleaned that room. I'll only take a
moment to finish dinner and then I'll be sure to fix it."

Skyler blinked. "It's okay, really. You don't have to--"

"But I do!" she insisted, mixing ingredients into a soup frantically but
evenly. "It wouldn't do for you to stay in a room like that. In any case,
Utena-sama prefers for the house to stay clean, and I don't want to
disappoint her." She turned to Skyler and bowed apologetically. "I know
it's an inconvenience, but could you watch to make sure nothing boils over?
I'll be back quickly..." And with that, she was gone.

"Uh, sure..." [Man, she's fast.] With the experience born of decades of
cooking for himself, Skyler sat down to watch the food not go anywhere.
"Lessee, from the pictures, Anthy, no, make that Himemiya-san, don't want
to be impolite, is really important to the plotline. She's Utena's best
buddy, maybe closer, and now I find out they're roommates. And she has some
sort of special noncombatant role in the duels, referee, maybe? Or prize?

"Bet I'll find out about the duels sooner than I want to. Oh, and she
called me `sempai', even though she was here first, so she is either in a
lower grade, or my height confused her. She's pretty, but if she's already
in a relationship (especially *that* kind of relationship), it'd be a bad
idea to poach. Better keep my eyes in my head."

Time passed slowly, and Skyler thought of one other thing he should do. His
head bowed in prayer.

It felt good to talk to God, and collect his thoughts from a short but
confusing day. He threw in a grace for the meal.

"I'm sorry for the delay."

Skyler opened his eyes to see Himemiya-san standing in the doorway, looking
slightly sweaty and very exhausted, but smiling and serene. "Thank you for
watching the food," she said tiredly. "Dinner should be ready in just a few
minutes."

It was a fine meal, if not entirely familiar to Skyler. The rice was good,
and the soup and pork were done well even if he didn't quite know what the
dishes were. The soup was probably some sort of miso he wasn't familiar
with, and the pork could have been donburi, although prepared differently
from the Japanese restaurants back home--but whatever the case, it was a
testament to Himemiya-san's skills as a chef.

The dining room was also not quite what Skyler would have expected from a
dorm, but he was getting used to that. The long, narrow tables were covered
in spotless white tablecloths--Anthy's doing, no doubt. She really kept the
place clean, he had to admit.

"So," Skyler asked as Himemiya-san took her seat across the table from him,
"will Utena, er, Utena-san be joining us?"

"A little later," she replied. "She said she would be studying after school
today with Wakaba-san and Miki-san. We have a test tomorrow." She looked
out the glass patio doors at the clouds that had come rushing in with the
last rays of sun. "I do hope she doesn't get caught in the rain--I don't
believe she remembered her umbrella." She shook her head. "But for now, it
will be just the three of us."

"Oh, okay. I was just...three of us?"

That was when Skyler became distinctly aware of a chewing sound coming from
behind his soup bowl.

It probably wasn't the *oddest* creature he'd seen--not in anime at least.
He vaguely remembered seeing pictures of it in the anime magazines, but
realistically that wasn't much preparation for seeing it in the flesh. It
looked as if someone had taken the cutest features of the stereotypical
cartoon monkey and cartoon mouse and then exaggerated them all out of
proportion. The ears were huge and round (and one was pierced, he noted),
while the eyes were mere round scribbles. Spots of red denoted the cheeks,
and its mouth was an odd w-shaped line. It wore what looked like a tie, or
the scarf from a girl's uniform. And it was looking at him while it chewed
on several crackers at once.

Its gaze met Skyler's. For a long moment, they simply stared at each other.
Then, the creature spoke.

"Chu."

Skyler raised an eyebrow. "Weird" did not even begin to describe
this...monkey? Anime pets were often very intelligent, so he'd have to
watch his step. Especially since he didn't want to antagonize Himemiya-san.

"Well, hello there."

The creature backed away a hair. "Chu..." Was that a hostile "chu", or just
a wary one?

"And what's your name, little fella?"

"Chu. Chu."

"Chuchu?"

"That's right," Anthy said.

"He's your pet, I take it?" Well, either hers or Utena's. Chuchu moved
between the two humans, protectively?

Anthy shook her head and smiled. "He's my friend."

"I'm Skyler Sands. Pleased to meetcha."

Chuchu looked at Skyler warily, but extended a paw. "Chuu..."

Skyler blinked. [Okay...] He extended a hand and was slightly nonplussed to
find Chuchu shaking his finger. [I'm shaking hands with a semi-intelligent
pet/friend/monkey-thing, and between the self-insertion and the boxing
kangaroo, it's possibly one of the more normal things that's happened
today. This has been quite a day...]

Time passed.

Himemiya-san was very quiet. Skyler decided he'd better try starting the
ball.

"I'm told I'll be doing some assistant work with the junior high classes."

"Really? How nice."

"So, what grade are you in?"

"The same as Utena-sama. The second year of junior high."

"You're in junior high? You're a very good cook for someone your age."

"Thank you."

Another long silence. Skyler tried again.

"How many grades are there at the academy?"

"It goes from elementary to university-level." She applied herself to the
rice. Chuchu walked up to her, and got a bit for its trouble.

"How do you like it here?"

"It's fine." She seemed distracted. Perhaps Anthy just didn't care for
conversation.

Rain had started sometime during the meal, and was becoming quite strong,
almost a storm.

"Rainy tonight."

"Yes."

A phone rang in another room. Himemiya-san excused herself and went to
answer it, leaving Skyler alone with Chuchu.

"Don't suppose you'd care to open up a little? Like some of the donburi?"

"Chu. Ch-chu." Apparently that was in answer to the first question, as the
critter accepted the bit of meat.

Anthy returned.

"Was that Utena-san?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"She did forget her umbrella, but since she was already at Wakaba-san's
dormitory, she'll be spending the night there. I'm sorry you won't get to
meet her..."

"Oh, no problem, really."

["My Dinner With Anthy" is not going to be a major box-office hit, I can
tell,] thought Skyler.

They finished their meal together, though Skyler had to hold back to
achieve this, and he offered to help wash up. "The least I can do to help."

Anthy smiled. She did that a lot. It looked good on her. "Domo, domo," she
replied cheerfully. Despite his best efforts, Skyler found himself barely
able to keep up with Himemiya-san, and she did the lion's share of the
dishes. The small talk was also...well, polite, but mostly unenlightening.

"Is this Wakaba-san a friend of yours?"

"I don't really know her too well. She's Utena-sama's best friend, though.
They lived together last semester, before Utena-sama had to move here.
They're such close friends."

"I...see." [Is Utena...you know? Or have I just been reading too much Chris
Davies?]

They walked together back to the second floor. It seemed Utena and Anthy's
room was right down the hall from Skyler's--21 to his 23. "You sure there's
nothing more I can help with?"

"No, nothing really. I have to get to sleep soon--I have to wake up early
to prepare Utena-sama's lunch and get ready for school."

"Okay. Say, will you please knock on my door when it's time to get up
tomorrow? I think I still have some jet lag."

"Yes."

"Oh, and thank you for all your help."

"It was nothing."

They walked to their rooms. Skyler inserted his key, turned it, and opened
the door--

The question foremost in Skyler's mind was where Anthy had gotten her hands
on a crew of carpenters, plasterers, and glaziers this late at night. After
all, she hadn't been gone for more than fifteen or twenty minutes at the
absolute outside. There was no way a single person could have rebuilt the
desk and beds, repaired the cracks in the ceiling, replaced the broken
window panes, and still cleaned everything to the point where he could see
his face in the hardwood floor.

Well, okay, maybe she could. This was an anime, after all. Still, the
contrast was a bit overwhelming. Even his crossbow had been carefully
polished and cleaned, and each individual bolt had been buffed until it
shone.

"Wow. Wonder if she does dojos?" then a small paranoid thought entered his
mind. "Wait a minute. I locked the door when I left...and I had to use the
key to get in now...so how'd Anthy get in? Shades of Jim Rockford. Note to
self: Do *not* leave secret journal in room."

He shut the door, and stripped down to his shorts. "Better leave them on.
Never know when something will happen in the middle of the night." He
folded his uniform neatly and laid it on the desk.

"Guess that `student guide' got delayed by the storm. Wonder who it is?"

Skyler laid down. "This has been one strange...zzz..."

He didn't dream that night...at least, not that he could remember. A few
fragments of images from real life--memories of friends and family--danced
across his brain before fading into oblivion.

He awoke to the sound of a gentle but persistent tapping. For a moment he
stared up at the ceiling. Then the events of yesterday came back rushing
all at once. He gasped briefly, then realized he'd better answer the
knocking.

"Be right with you!" Skyler shouted. Apparently, he'd had enough sleep to
get rested. He rolled out of the top bunk, enjoying the sensation of
landing lightly on his feet. He hadn't done that in years! Still no other
clothes, but the uniform still looked clean...and pressed. Weird. Skyler
pulled on the trousers and shirt.

He walked over and opened the door.

"Good morning!" Anthy was cheerful as always. Definitely a morning person.
"Did you sleep well?"

"Ohayou! I slept fine, thanks. I appreciate your waking me. And you?"

"Oh, fine. Breakfast is ready downstairs if you want it. Oh, and I left a
towel and some soap and shampoo in your closet in case you need them. The
boys' bathroom is just down the hall." She bowed slightly. "I've got to
finish Utena-sama's bentou now. Call me if you need anything."

Skyler found the bath supplies, and quickly determined where the boys'
bathroom was. He luxuriated in a nice hot shower, with no interruptions.
"Well, of course, no other men in the building. Might as well enjoy it
while it lasts."

As he toweled off, Skyler admired himself in the mirror. "Not bad at
all..." Then he noticed a small detail that had escaped him in the dim
reflection he'd studied yesterday. "I don't have any *pupils*?! How do I
*see*? Wait, if I remember my `Alien Biology' essays, it'd just filter out
light of the same color. No, then I'd see my eyes as entirely black.
Weird." He looked a bit closer. "No, wait, there they are. just a slightly
darker blue than the irises. Still weird."

After finishing dressing (creases in the jacket as if it'd been freshly
pressed, and he didn't remember Anthy going near it...) Skyler went down to
breakfast. It was as sumptuous as the supper the night before, a mixture of
Japanese and Western cuisine, including rice, toast, orange juice, tea,
some sort of soup, eggs and a variety of other stuff. Far too much for two
people and a monkey-thing, though Chuchu was doing its level best to
demolish its meal.

Anthy appeared to have already eaten. .oO I guess Utena must be one of
those "bottomless pit" types. Oo. Skyler had a prodigious appetite (for a
normal person), but he'd soon had his fill.

"My compliments to the chef."

"Thank you," said Himemiya-san in her pleasant but inscrutable tone.

[I'll have to cook something nice for her sometime. Wonder if rhubarb is in
season?] thought Skyler as Anthy cleared the table. Once again, he barely
managed to help with the dishes.

"Do you mind if I walk with you to the school?"

"No, I don't mind. Everything is ready." She gathered up a book bag and two
bentou boxes, and they left.

The morning air smelled fresh after the rain, and Skyler began humming
"Carolina in the Morning". Today should be fun.

The city looked clean and even a bit beautiful after the rain, with
droplets of water still running off the trees and buildings gleaming with
the water trickling down them. The school and the large hill it topped
dominated the landscape--the central tower of the main building rose
perhaps a full ten stories above the school, maybe even more, making it the
highest landmark visible, perhaps even the highest part of the city.

More students started filtering in from the surrounding streets as the
school grew closer, in twos and threes most likely making their way from
other dorms in the area. More than a few, he realized, were looking
surprisedly at him and Anthy, and staring a bit (until they realized he
noticed) or talking excitedly among themselves.

[Must be because I'm new, and probably obviously a foreigner. New kids
always get this kind of treatment.]

"It's a beautiful morning, isn't it?" he prompted Anthy.

"Yes, it is." There was a long silence.

"I'm originally from Gunntown, Minnesota. It's a small town up near the
Canadian border. And yourself?"

"I've always lived around here," she replied. Another long pause.

"What are the winters like?"

"They're nice." Pause.

"At home it got down to fifty below Fahrenheit, not sure what that is in
Celcius..." Himemiya-san didn't take the bait. [Okay, not a science
enthusiast...]

"Do I talk too much?" he asked as they got to the school walls.

There was no response. Skyler glanced over his shoulder towards
Anthy...only she wasn't there.

He blinked. He was doing a lot of that lately. [That's odd...I don't think
I said anything to scare her off. Where could she...?]

There. Three girls were standing around Himemiya-san, keeping her back to
one of the pillars of the wall of arches surrounding the school. The
central one he recognized--it was the girl with the two ponytails he'd seen
at the kangaroo incident the day before. After a moment he placed the other
two as the girls who'd been with her cleaning up the recording equipment
yesterday.

"You've caused a lot of trouble, do you know that?" the girl with the
ponytails said indignantly.

"I'm sorry..." Anthy said quietly, looking at the ground in humility and
shame.

"Sorry? Sorry? You think saying you're sorry can make up for nearly getting
Touga-sama killed? For making his sister miserable?" The girl glared at
Anthy for a moment, and then...

*SLAP*

Anthy fell to the ground, clutching her cheek. The three girls looked down
on her with vicious satisfaction.

Bile rose in Skyler's throat. This kind of scene was all too familiar to
him, though he'd usually played the victim's role. He choked back his first
impulse. [I will *not* hit a girl. I will *not*.]

"She *said* that she was sorry. Violence was uncalled for," he said, in as
level a voice as he could manage.

"Who--?" replied the pony-tailed girl.

"Skyler Gregory Sands, at your service." He made a slight bow. "It seems to
me that Touga-sempai had matters well in hand yesterday. I don't think he'd
like hearing that you have so little faith in his abilities."

The girls smirked as they all turned to face him. "Well, `Sukairaa
Guregorii Sanzu'," the pony-tailed girl replied, stressing the name
mockingly, "it seems to *me* that you'd do better to stay out of things
that don't concern you." She looked at his face critically. "I haven't seen
you around here before. You don't even have any idea who you're dealing
with, do you?"

"I'm just dying to be enlightened," he growled.

The girl rested one hand on her hip arrogantly. "Sonoda Keiko."

"Wakiya Aiko," the tallest one, with long black hair that curled outwards
at the end, added as she folded her arms.

"Oose Yuuko." This one's auburn hair reminded him a little of Nabiki's,
only with more body and curving in a bit more.

"Together," Keiko went on, "we are the darlings of the junior high and high
school social scenes, the face of terror to those who oppose us, the
undisputed masters of all we survey..."

[Must...restrain...urge to giggle...Guess they have Sailor Moon cartoons in
this reality too.]

"Really?"

The three girls froze with terror at the deceptively mild-sounding voice.
Their heads slowly swiveled around, as if afraid of what they might see.

Nanami's violet gaze met theirs coolly and impassively.

"Why, pray tell, was I never informed of this?" she continued in the sort
of quiet, restrainedly pleasant tone that strongly implies that you *don't*
want to see the speaker grow unpleasant.

"N-n-nanami-sama!" Keiko stammered. "I-I'm so sorry! We didn't mean...!"

"I'm sure you didn't," Nanami replied evenly. "Be *glad* I'm sure. Now,
don't you three have to get to class now?"

The girls barely needed prompting. They were racing off in equal parts
terror and relief almost before she'd finished the sentence.

Skyler watched them go for a moment, then turned back to Anthy. Nanami was
already crouching beside her, helping gather her bentous and the books.
"I'm *so* sorry about that," Nanami said apologetically, though with a
bright smile. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

"No, I'm fine," Anthy replied with a soft smile as Nanami helped her to her
feet.

Skyler bowed again. "Thank you for defusing that...scene. I'm Skyler Sands,
a transfer student."

Nanami made sure that Anthy was able to stand on her own, then returned the
bow. "I'm Kiryuu Nanami, Junior High First Year. Pleased to meet you!" She
was quite cute, Skyler noted as he really looked at her for the first time,
with a brilliant smile and a curious hairstyle -- a braid wrapped around
the top of her head like a headband, lightly restraining her long blonde
locks.

"Nanami...I think I know that one, it means `Seven Beauties', right?" He
traced the kanji in the air with his finger. [Thank you, El Hazard.]

She smiled fetchingly, with just a hint of a blush. "Yes, it does. You seem
to know your kanji quite well, Sands-sempai."

He felt a bit of a burn in his own cheeks. "The s-simple ones, anyway."

"And that would make your brother Kiryuu Touga, yes?" He was rewarded with
a nod. "A very impressive fellow, from what I saw yesterday. I'm not
surprised he has a fan club. A little too enthusiastic, though."

Nanami nodded, the smile slipping slightly. "Yes, indeed. I have to
apologize for their behavior...they really should know better by now."

"Are they always like that?"

Nanami sighed wistfully. "They're really very nice girls underneath--it's
just that they seem to have this strange urge to prove themselves by
picking on the weak from time to time. And Himemiya-sempai is such a sweet
person, she wouldn't even hurt a fly, much less try to stand up for
herself..." She shook her head sadly, then glanced up towards the school
suddenly. "Oh, we'd better get moving if we want to get to class," Nanami
reminded.

They started towards the main building, and Skyler realized Anthy hadn't
said anything in quite a long time. In fact, as soon as she'd gotten up and
gotten her belongings in order, she'd started towards the school again as
if nothing had happened

"I didn't mean to ignore you, Himemiya-san."

"It's quite all right," the dark-skinned girl assured.

"I expect I'll be meeting quite a number of new people today. My old school
was very small."

"Really? How nice." She continued walking at a brisk but relaxed pace,
leaving Skyler and Nanami just slightly behind.

Nanami shook her head sadly. "Poor Himemiya-sempai..." she said quietly to
Skyler. "She has to deal with this far too often. She never has even a
harsh word for anyone, and so many people repay her with cruelty..."

"That's...unfortunate." [Could explain why she comes off as...distant.]

They walked into the central building on campus, the base of the tower, and
into a huge vaulted room, at least three stories tall, with rooms and
balconies lining the side and a floor inlaid with a rose design. The clamor
of the crowd of students echoed off the ceiling, mixing with the sounds of
a public address system squawking out utterly unintelligible messages. The
students were generally filing towards the back of the room, where rows of
lockers and shoe cubbyholes were set up.

"So," Nanami asked, voice calmly cutting through the background noise, "how
exactly did you meet Himemiya-sempai?"

"I'm rooming in the same building, Higashi-kan. She was kind enough to let
me share her supper last night." He looked over the cubbyholes and saw that
they were labeled in kana order. Sure enough, one had "Sands" written in
katakana, and inside was a pair of slippers in his size.

"So, you've met her roommate, Tenjou Utena?" Nanami asked as they both
donned the school footwear.

"Um, no, she was out last night."

"I'm surprised Utena-sempai left her alone--" she cut off as Skyler headed
for the lockers.

He found the locker marked with his name, opened it, and found a bookbag
inside, filled with several texts. Skyler took it out and glanced around
for the lock. He found nothing, and realized that none of the other lockers
seemed to have one either. [Trusting place, this Ohtori. Then again, I
guess Japan has a bit less crime than most American high schools. Can't
keep secret journal here either.]

[If I remember correctly, all the students stay in the classroom, and the
teachers rotate.]

Nanami rejoined him as they exited the back way, walking towards the
building his map had indicated held his classroom. Anthy was already a few
yards ahead, waling sedately.

"It's just that Himemiya-sempai is so *devoted* to Tenjou-sempai -- you
must have noticed that, right? And Tenjou-sempai takes full advantage of
that. She has Himemiya-sempai do all the cooking and cleaning, even when
her own studies suffer...why, it's gotten so that Himemiya-sempai won't do
a thing without getting her `Utena-sama's' permission first. And how is she
repaid? Why..." She trailed off slightly, blushing, as she glanced sidelong
at the flow of nearby students. "Well, I really shouldn't say--"

"You're probably correct, you shouldn't say," said Skyler, feeling nervous
about the turn this conversation was taking. "So, do you have a favorite
class?"

Meanwhile, in his head, [Anthy seems happy enough with the arrangement, and
with her apparent speed, her studies probably don't suffer too much.
Besides, Utena's the star of the show, so she can't be a complete monster.
On the other hand, she *might* be exploiting Anthy's talents a bit
much...or Nanami might be the "out" leg of a triangle. If I'm living next
door to them, I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.]

Nanami shrugged. Did she look a little more relaxed now that she was off
that topic, or was it just Skyler's imagination? "Oh, I don't really have a
favorite, I suppose. Art is nice enough, but the schoolwork for all the
other subjects can get so tedious now and then..." She looked curiously at
Skyler. "How about you?"

"Creative Writing. I don't suppose they'd give me a `bye' on English?"

Nanami giggled. "I'm sure I wouldn't know. Oh, but I'm sure it won't be any
difficulty for someone like you. You know all those ugly tenses and
irregular verbs already..."

"That I do..." [Though the last time I needed to know the grammar terms was
over a decade ago.] Skyler tried to remember exactly what "future perfect"
meant.

Nanami looked over at him with a curious gaze as they walked into one of
the buildings and up the stairs. "Incidentally, if you don't mind my
asking...where did you get such an interesting uniform?"

Skyler started. He didn't know himself! How to phrase this...? Ah. "It was
a gift. The rest of my luggage seems to be lost in transit, so this is what
I'm wearing." [A gift with some serious strings attached...]

Nanami nodded thoughtfully. "I see..." she murmured as a slow contemplative
smile crept across her face.

The second floor hallway had windows on to the central courtyard, where
Skyler could see the greenhouse. That started a memory, and he hummed a
little.

"What's that tune?" asked Nanami. "I don't recognize it."

"It's an American song from a while ago, Kiryuu-san.

                    o/~A rose grows out in the garden,
                    its beauty cuts just like a knife;
                    They say it even grows in the wintertime,
                    and blooms in the dead of night~\o "

Nanami smiled, with just a hint of mischief in her face. "Why, thank you."

[She thought that was a compliment? Better hope she doesn't ask me to tell
her the rest of the lyrics. And I now know I'm not in a Richard Lawson fic,
or I'd have been spouting a sonnet.]

Skyler paused as they came to what he realized had to be his room.
[Kou-1-A. If I remember right, that's high school, first year, class
A--just like the letter said. Looks like I've found my class...]

"This is the place. See you later, Kiryuu-san?"

Nanami smiled. "It's been so wonderful meeting you, Sands-sempai. I hope
everything goes well for you. It's going to be so nice having someone new
around--and I'm sure Himemiya-sempai is grateful someone is able to stand
up to bullies like those three or Tenj--" She cut off suddenly, then
laughed self-consciously. "Oh, but I shouldn't spread gossip. Just ignore
me--I'm so sorry." She turned to walk off, flashing him another smile.
"Good luck, Sands-sempai!"

She certainly seemed less than happy with Utena. Well, time enough to sort
that out later.

Fortunately, Skyler was still a few minutes early for class. The teacher,
Kyoto-sensei, was a short, slightly plump, bespectacled man.

"Oh, yes, Sands-kun. Yes, I was told you were supposed to be arriving
today. Well, welcome to Ohtori Academy." He shuffled through the papers on
his desk a moment. "I was told Arisugawa-kun would be acting as your guide
while you got your bearings. She's a member of the Student Council, and one
of my top students, so she'll probably be able to help with anything you
need. I think I can assign you a seat next to her..."

Skyler followed the teacher's gaze. Seated by the window, reading a thick
book with a cover faded by age...

...was, he realized, one of the more stunning young women he had seen in
recent memory,even taking into account the anime beauty of nearly everyone
he'd seen here.

It wasn't just her looks--she was attractive, with a slim figure and orange
hair done in meticulously-coiled ringlets, but not remarkably more so than
many of the other women in this anime world. But even seated quietly, there
was something in her bearing...an ineffable sense of quiet self-confidence
and nobility was the closest he could come to putting it into words, though
it wasn't quite right. Too strong, maybe...

She glanced up from her book for a moment, meeting his gaze with her cool
blue-green eyes, and making Skyler realize he'd been starting to stare. He
shied away from her gaze for a moment, and it was only then that he
realized she was wearing almost the same uniform as him. There were a few
differences--the pants and trim were orange, the epaulets and cord were
different--but they were clearly minor variations on the same design.

She looked him over for a moment dispassionately, as if getting his
measure, then returned to her reading unconcernedly.

He returned his attention to the teacher. "Thank you, Kyoto-sensei. I'm
sorry, but they didn't give me a schedule. Which class is up first?"

Kyoto-sensei glanced at his papers. "Well, we start the day with...I think
you'd call it `homeroom' in America, am I right? We go over news for the
day, sometimes review tests from other classes or take basic pop quizzes,
and so forth. After that is Mathematics, then History, then English. After
lunch is Japanese and Literature, then Physics and finally Gym. Well, it's
Gym today--it alternates between Gym and Art." He looked out at the rapidly
filling classroom. "It seems like it's about time for class to begin...Why
don't we wait till everyone's settled in, then you can introduce yourself
and take your seat."

Skyler wrote his name in script first, then in katakana. Then he bowed to
the class. "I'm Skyler Sands, and I'm very glad to be here."

The class looked on in what seemed to be curiosity and amusement--Skyler
noticed a few whispers between students in the back rows, which were
quickly silenced when Kyoto-sensei glared at the offenders. Just about the
only person who didn't seem interested in one way or another was
Arisugawa-kun, who had simply bookmarked her place, looked at the name on
the board with barely a flicker of attention, and then turned to gaze
distractedly out the window, writing briefly in her notebook from time to
time without even looking down at it.

The class itself wasn't very interesting, as Kyoto-sensei droned through a
series of announcements about upcoming exams and club meetings. Most of it
was meaningless to Skyler at this point. The orange-haired girl seemed not
to pay much attention either.

Eventually, the bell chimed, and Kyoto-sensei left for his next class. Some
of the students got up to talk to each other, as it seemed there would be
some time before the next teacher arrived.

Skyler turned to the young woman at the next desk. "Hi. Arisugawa-san, was
it? Do you like old books?"

She turned her head towards him at this, arching an eyebrow curiously. "Do
you always begin your conversations this way?"

"No, usually I'm even lamer, but I saw you reading an interesting looking
volume earlier," he replied.

She nodded slightly as she removed the book from her desk. His eyes fell on
the title.--"A Critique of Pure Reason", by Emmanuel Kant. "It depends more
on the subject matter than the age. I prefer to read thought-provoking
works."

"Ah. I'm embarrassed to admit I haven't actually read that book yet."
[Quite possibly smarter than I am...]

She shrugged. "It's not what most would call recreational reading. There's
hardly a need to be embarrassed for not having a deep interest in
philosophy."

[Whew.]

"Actually, for the last little while I've been struggling through manga to
help me learn Japanese." [True enough, no need to tell her I seem to have
received a brain implant.]

"Oh, really?" She looked at him with a curious, if slightly unnerving
interest, as if he were some sort of puzzle to be solved. "You certainly
seem to be unusually fluent despite that. There are people who have been
studying the language for decades with more of an accent than you. My
commendations."

"Uh, thanks. I understand from Kyoto-sensei that you're my student guide?"

"So it would seem. You seem to have attracted the attention of someone
influential in high places--the Student Council is rarely called on for
something as mundane as this. One has to wonder what makes you so notable,
don't you think?" Her tone and eyes remained flat and cool for this, giving
the distinct impression she knew perfectly well why, and that she knew
Skyler did, too.

"You're on the Student Council?" Skyler dissembled, since he himself wasn't
entirely clear on who'd arranged the "special treatment" or why.

Her gaze turned slightly more curious, and a touch more skeptical. "Yes. I
seem to recall overhearing Kyoto-sensei mentioning that to you earlier."
She turned back to her desk, turning the page in her notebook idly. "So.
Where precisely in America are you from, if I may ask?"

[D'oh! Well, can't remember everything.]

"Gunntown, Minnesota. It's a small town up towards the Canadian border." He
sketched a rough rectangle in the air, then pointed towards the middle
upper edge. "Not on most large-scale maps. Mostly little farms, and a
federal prison is the main job provider since the quarry shut down. More
recently, I've been in Minneapolis, which is the largest city in the
state."

She nodded. "The Twin Cities, Minneapolis and Saint Paul. I know of them.
Why did you choose to come to Ohtori, then...aside from the obvious?
Certainly there are more well-known cities in Japan amenable to foreign
exchange students, and I seem to recall that the Twin Cities have sister
cities here that would be overjoyed to have you," she observed as she idly
wrote in her notebook.

"You *are* well-read...actually, it seems more like Ohtori Academy picked
me. There were a couple of locations I was more familiar with by
reputation, but apparently they already had enough exchange students. I had
only heard of Ohtori as a word on paper before they accepted my
application, and after that it felt like I was just given a crash course in
advanced Japanese, issued this uniform, and dumped here."

Skyler paused. "I can't even remember clearly what part of Japan we're in.
It was that much of a rush. Someone wanted me here in a big hurry, and I
can't really say why."

Arisugawa-san nodded slowly, as if fitting the pieces of a mental picture
together. "If it's of any help, Ohtori Prefecture is in northern Honshu, on
the Pacific coast." She flipped her notebook closed, revealing her name on
the cover, written with kanji he actually had to pause a moment to
identify.

[Let's see... "to have", an archaic form of "reside" and "river"...that's
Ari-su-gawa, right...then "standing tree" and...that means a sort of blue
crystal, yes? Ju-rii? Arisugawa Juri, then...]

["Julie", perhaps? "Jury" sounds a bit ominous...and I can even read
archaic kanji, neat!]

The class was beginning to settle down again, and a new teacher had entered
and began spreading his books out on the desk up front. "In any case," Juri
continued, "you doubtless have a rather memorable term ahead of you here."

"I'll bet." Seeing her notebook reminded Skyler, and he dug through his
bookbag for the math textbook, and maybe a notebook and pencil?

Yes, there were several slim composition books with a name space on the
cover just above the Ohtori rose insignia, as well as some sharpened
pencils, also marked with roses where the manufacturer's name would
ordinarily go. [Way too much with the roses already. I'm going to have to
invest in some daisies.]

"What chapter are we on?"

"The eighth. Simple formulae for the areas and volumes of two- and
three-dimensional solids; nothing unduly difficult."

The class was standard-issue high-school geometry. Skyler was way out of
practice, so he tried to listen carefully. Some of it, at least, sounded
familiar.

Juri didn't seem too interested in this class either, but when asked to
find the volume of a cone, did it correctly and efficiently, without
looking up. Thankfully, Skyler was not called upon.

He didn't talk during the next break, choosing to review the opening
chapters of the history book. Skyler didn't find any glaring
inconsistencies with the timeline he knew, but he really wasn't up on the
details of Japanese history.

Kyoto-sensei was back for this class, and everyone settled in for a lecture
on the end of the Warring States period and the beginnings of the Tokugawa
era. Nobunaga, Hideyoshi, Tokugawa... The names and dates flowed past in a
haze. Sadly, the teacher's speech really didn't convey the excitement of
the subject, and Skyler was forced to imagine the events as if presented in
anime form to keep his interest up.

Next up was English. [This, at least, ought to be a snap,] Skyler thought
as he cracked open his textbook and began paging through it. It looked
fairly dry, consisting largely of grammar and vocabulary lists interspersed
with essays. He glanced over at Juri's textbook and flipped to the same
page, then started to read...

*Tried* to start to read. He came to a grinding halt in a matter of
moments. [What the heck? Did I grab the wrong book or something? I can't
understand a word of this.] It was obviously in romaji, and obviously some
sort of European language, but beyond that it was gibberish. He couldn't
drain a single drop of meaning from it.

Then a word halfway down the page caught his eye. F-o-o-l. Fool. Somehow,
he knew that word. And a few lines down, another one -- c-u-t-e.

[Oh. My. God. Okay, don't panic,] thought Skyler. [Just think in English.
"The tough coughs as he ploughs the dough..."] He hesitated. [But was that
"cows as he ploffs" or the other way around...oh no. I can't even remember
that?!]

He looked down at the page again. Still gibberish. "A", "the", "of", a
couple of other simple words, but the rest eluded him. It was much the same
effect he normally got from a page full of...Japanese.

[This is bad. Very, very bad. "When Self-Insertion Fics Go Wrong" bad. I
don't even have a dictionary to work with! Wait a minute...I was able to
sing that song in English earlier, or it wouldn't have scanned, right?] He
wondered if he was developing a giant sweatdrop. He stretched his memory
backwards. He'd been humming the song, right, and then he'd sung Nanami the
lyrics...which she'd understood perfectly. [Gah. Don't tell me I translated
it unconsciously or something...it just seemed to come out so naturally...]

But he'd been taking notes! Skyler opened his composition book...and stared
in horror at the neat vertical lines of kanji and kana.

Skyler began to chuckle nervously, then noticed Juri looking at him with
that mildly curious stare of hers. [Please let this come out in English...]
{Nod if I'm talking in English.}

Juri looked...bemused. She replied, quite obviously in English, with a
slight nod. Skyler managed to catch scattered words--"Your", "is", "but",
"I", "you"--with a number of words he couldn't catch in between.

She watched his face for a moment, looking for signs of comprehension and
obviously finding none. "I see," she murmured, turning back to her
textbook. "There's a pronunciation guide on page 53. I recommend you review
it quickly before the lesson starts."

Alas, it was too late, as the door opened right then.

The English teacher--a thin, sour-looking woman with her hair in a bun and
glasses that instantly reminded Skyler of the "Far Side" cartoons, set her
books on the desk and peered out over the class, which quieted instantly.
She smiled as she saw Skyler.

"If I might have all of your attention, today we'll be beginning out new
essay. While I'm sure you've all prepared your sections quite well, it
would seem we have a new student today--a transfer student from America, in
fact." She smiled thinly. "Sands-kun, would you please turn to page 72 and
read the introduction to the essay there? I know you haven't had time to
prepare, but I'm sure it should be simple for a native speaker of English,
and the rest of the class could certainly use the example of good
pronunciation you could set." She glared as her gaze swept across the room,
causing students to blush or turn away in embarrassment wherever she
looked.

[I don't suppose we could have an earthquake or something right now? Fake a
heart attack? Oh well, if I can pronounce Japanese without knowing what it
means from the furigana, I can *probably* bluff my way through this...]

Skyler stood, book in hand, and did a quick skim of the lines. Still not
particularly comprehensible...but there was no help for it now. In what he
hoped was a clear, firm voice, he began reading what looked like the
introduction.

It felt like the longest paragraph in the world, though it couldn't have
been more than five or six lines. [Okay, I think this next word is the
verb, so I'll put a little more stress there, and then...is that the hard
vowel or the soft one? I think that's a silent "e", but which way does it
modify the sound? I am *so* dead...]

He finally trailed to a halt. The class was silent. The teacher was looking
at him intently. Juri's gaze seemed almost amused.

Finally, the teacher spoke. "That's an...interesting accent, Sands-kun."

He nodded, perhaps just a little too hard.

"Well then, in any case. Let's move on to the day's lesson. Akita-kun, if
you would care to read..."

Skyler sank gratefully into his desk. All conscious thought left him until
the chime signaling the end of class.

"Did you bring a bentou?" asked Juri as she replaced her books in her desk.

"No, actually...I didn't think of it," Skyler replied. Is there a cafeteria
around here or anything?"

"Of course." She stood. "Let's go."

Following the flow of the crowd of students breaking for lunch, Juri and
Skyler went downstairs, crossed over to the main building, and ascended to
the second floor there before parting from the main body of the crowd in
favor of a quieter corridor.

Juri then turned to face him, leaning against a window sill with her arms
crossed, and regarded Skyler with that penetrating gaze again. "So. Who are
you, *really*?"

To be continued....

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GLOSSARY

Anime: Japanese animation.
Bentou: A boxed lunch (brief description here).
Captain Harlock: Anime character noted for large facial scar/birthmark
(depending on which continuity you're watching.)
Chris Davies: Fanfic writer noted for lesbian themes.
Chuuka Ichiban: Anime from roughly the same period as Utena.
Dojo: Training hall, most often for the martial arts.
El Hazard: An anime that features a character named Nanami (the kanji to
write the name are fairly simple.)
Facefaulting: Falling over in surprise, usually highly exaggerated for
effect.
Fist of the North Star: Older manga/anime. The hero had the ability to make
people's heads explode.
Furigana: Phonetic kana printed next to kanji to show the pronounciation.
Often found in children's manga.
Gundam: Series of anime series about mecha battles. Very angsty.
Hiragana: Phonetic syllable representations, mostly reserved for native
Japanese words.
Kana: Phonetic syllable representation for Japanese. Comes in katakana and
hiragana.
Kanji: Ideograms representing words and ideas in Japanese, most borrowed
from the Chinese.
Katakana: Phonetic syllable representation, usually used for non-Japanese
words.
Koko wa Greenwood: Manga/anime series set in a school dormitory.
-Kun: Honorific, slightly less formal than -san. Used here by teacher to
pupil.
Ma Vie et Roses: "My Life with Roses", more or less.
Manga: Japanese comic books.
Mecha: Machines, usually understood to be giant robots.
Nadesico: Anime from roughly the same time period as Utena.
Ohayou: "Good morning."
Oniisama: "Elder Brother". Very respectful term of address.
Otaku: Drooling fanboy, understood in the US to be an anime buff. Much more
insulting if used by Japanese.
Otakufic: Anime fan fiction in which the writer (or a thinly disguised
version thereof) visits the anime world.
Ranma 1/2: A wildly popular manga/anime series about a cursed martial
artist. The majority of otakufics are set here.
Rekka no Honou: An anime from roughly the same time period as Utena.
Richard Lawson: A fanfic writer known for his use of Shakespeare.
Romaji: Writing the Japanese language with the Roman alphabet.
Rose of Versailles: Older manga/anime series set just before the French
Revolution.
Sailor Moon: Manga/anime series about teenage girls who fight evil with
superpowers. The main character is known for making silly speeches when
confronting a foe.
-Sama: Elevating honorific, usually used by social inferiors to their
"betters."
-San: Honorific, and functions as a default. Roughly equivalent to "Mr." or
"Ms."
SD: Super Deformed. A smaller, cuter version of the character. Usually used
in gag sequences.
Self-insert fic: As otakufic, above, but for fan fiction in general.
-Sempai: Honorific for one who is senior to you in a group, such as one in
a higher grade at school. Sometimes translated "Upperclassman." May be used
alone as a title.
-Sensei: Honorific for one in a learned profession, such as a teacher or
doctor. May be used alone as a title.
Senshi: Warrior. The "Sailor Senshi" are the heroes of Sailor Moon, and
wear miniskirts in costume.
Shoujo Kakumei Utena: Literally "Girl Revolution Utena" (yes, it sounds
just as odd in Japanese). The title of the anime/manga series Skyler is
visiting.
Virus: An anime series from roughly the same time period as Utena.
"When Self-Insertion Fics Go Wrong": by Alpha Centauri, a parody of
otakufics. One of the writers has a guest appearance.

AUTHORS' NOTES:

I first got the idea for this story almost a year ago. I was in Japan,
studying at Sophia University's summer session and enjoying the luxury of
seeing anime on prime time TV when I stumbled across this fascinating
little show called Shoujo Kakumei Utena. It had beautiful art an animation,
romance, comedy, mysticism, symbolism, characterization that hooked me
immediately, and people slashing at each other with swords. What more could
one ask for? I quickly became an addict of the series.

At the same time, I was thinking about fan fiction. At the time, I'd never
written much (a story about Kodachi and Konatsu, made in response to a
challenge, and an incomplete Kodachi introspection story I'd never gotten
the energy to finish), but I'd been an avid reader for quite some time. At
times, though, it seemed like the anime fan fiction world was getting a
little stagnant -- while there were many good stories out there, they were
being lost in a flood of stories that looked very similar at first glance
-- Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon stories (with other occasional surges, like
Tenchi Muyo or Evangelion), which might be very good individually but had
nothing to stand out from the crowd. I began to contemplate writing an
Utena story, but realized that very few people in America would know about
a show still in progress on Japanese TV.

By a tangent, I got to thinking about self-insertion fan fiction, and the
two things that make most of their protagonists so obnoxious: omnipotence
and omniscience. The characters were not only able to do anything they set
their mind to, but they knew how to interact perfectly with the main cast
so as to resolve all their problems neatly and elegantly. Occasionally, the
writer would wipe his avatar's knowledge of the series, but even then, the
avatar tends to get extremely perceptive, enough so that he can be
effectively omniscient when it fits the plot.

What if, I thought, someone were to be dropped into an anime world he knew
nothing about? Would he fumble around and make matters worse than they were
when he started? Would he be duped by the deceptive characters, or misjudge
the deep ones? How would he react to the novelty of the situation? It was
an interesting thought, but it would seem to require at least two authors
-- one who knew the source material, and one who did not, who would supply
the otaku avatar's personality and decisions. I let the idea germinate in
my mind for a while, then casually mentioned it on the FFML, where Scott
Jamison noticed it and responded with interest. And now, after countless
delays (on my part), here's the first part of the result. All I can hope is
that it's lived up to my expectations.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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