Fear of Angels Part One Tatiana Celeste lintila@hotmail.com It's you that I adore You will always be my whore You'll be a mother to my child And a child to my heart We must never be apart We must never be apart Lovely girl you're the beauty in my world Without you there aren't reasons left to find And I'll pull your crooked teeth You'll be perfect just like me You'll be a lover in my bed And a gun to my head We must never be apart We must never be apart Lovely girl you're the murder in my world Dressing coffins for the souls I've left to die Drinking mercury to the mystery of all that you should ever leave behind In time In you I see dirty In you I count stars In you I feel so pretty In you I taste god In you I feel so hungry In you I crash cars We must never be apart Drinking mercury to the mystery Of all that you should ever seek to find Lovely girl you're the murder in my world Dressing coffins for the souls I've left behind In time We must never be apart And you'll always be my whore Cause you're the one that I adore And I'll pull your crooked teeth You'll be perfect just like me In you I feel so dirty in you I crash cars In you I feel pretty in you I taste god We must never be apart ~Smashing Pumpkins ~Ava Adore He took her cold hand in his own, squeezing it gently and pressing it to his face; his eyes closed tightly with the pain of emotion. Beneath the fingers that encircled the thin wrist he could feel the pulse fading, it moved slowly...so slowly, and death would soon claim the dying woman. He sighed, a pale strand of hair freeing itself from the rest of his bangs, the dying process for her had been long and difficult, he would have preferred that it happen quickly, suddenly, not this long drawn out mockery, the lack of eternity and life staring him the face. The woman stirred, her tired eyes barely opened so that only a thin line of green looked out at him. "You'll," she started having to pause to take a strangled breath before continuing, "You'll be alright...won't you?" She took another breath, "You'll watch your sister, right?" "Hai mother," his grip on her hand tightened, she made no wince of pain and he was convinced that she could no longer fully feel the pressure of his hand on her own. He forced a smile, not wanting her to see his features marred by grief. "I...I'm sorry. I don't want to leave you both behind..." He shook his head, "You're not leaving us behind, and it wasn't your choice. Nothing is eternal...nothing." "You're right, of course...but," she whispered, "It would be nice if something was," her voice dragged out, the last of her breath, her soul many ancient religions would have said, escaped her body and what life was left in her eyes faded. He released her hand, laying it and her other hand, across her chest and shut her eyes all the way. "Mama? Onii-Sama?" The small girl pushed the door open and peered in, "What's going on?" Her green eyes were wide and questioning, "Onii-sama?" Akio turned and looked at his little sister, so young, so innocent. Did she even understand what death brought with it? No, and perhaps she shouldn't, not yet, let her keep her innocence for just a little longer. "Mama has gone to play with the angels Onee-chan, she's very happy," He kneeled down and placed a hand on her shoulder, his weary green eyes looking into her own. "Why? She has us to play with, why must she seek angels?" The child asked defiantly. Akio looked away from her accusing eyes, "Because they are better then we," he said standing. "I'm going to get the doctor." "Onii-sama! Wait!" The girl chased after him, "Don't leave me here alone, protect me, I don't want the angels to steal me away too." Akio smiled grimly as she pulled at his shirt, begging that she go with him, proclaiming her newfound fear of angels that steal people away to play with them. He looked down at her, her small knuckles white with the strength of her grip. "The servants are here, they'll won't leave you alone." "But...it's not the same." Akio sighed and relented, "I'll send a servant, how is that?' "Thank you Onii-sama." He nodded and made his way to the study, Anthy following quickly after. "Will Mama come back, once she's finished playing with angels?" she asked after several silent moments. Akio was not expecting this question, "No Anthy-chan, she shall never return to us." "But, why?! Doesn't she love us?" Akio sighed, he was not prepared to handle this, not prepared at all, "Of course she does, but she..." "She?" He sighed again, forced to ignore his own pain, "Anthy, all things must come to an end, nothing can last forever. All things will one day wither and die, grow old and frail and weak and sick." "But why?" she climbed into the chair which was big enough for both of them and he wrapped his arms around her, comforting her trembling body. "It is the way of things. One day you too will grow old and die," No, baka he shouldn't have told her that. "Even you?" She looked at him with horrified eyes, "I don't want that," she pressed her face into his chest, "No! I don't want you to leave, and and I don't want to leave anyone behind." "Nothing can stop it though," he stroked her thick hair, "We all grow up, we all die, it is a certainty in life." "I don't want to grow up then! Or you or any one, I want time to stop! I don't want you to go away like mommy did!" "Anthy," he looked down at her now sobbing form, then back up to the doorway of the study, "Hello sir," Akio attempted to stand. "Don't worry about it," the doctor said, "She's in her room?" "Hai sir." The man nodded gravely, "It was expected, don't worry, we'll take care of it, just stay with your sister." Akio nodded and his body relaxed back in the chair, Anthy still pressed against him. He sighed. Ha...don't worry. What would become of them now? Their father had died years before in an accident, Anthy didn't even remember him she was so young at the time, and now their mother who struggled to raise them. They had at least been well off financially thanks to their fathers well planning, as if he knew somehow that he would die...not that it might have been unexpected, traveling where he did was very dangerous. It was still no comfort though. Akio couldn't help but want to find a way to stop time, a way to protect his sister. He blinked away tears. Why did the world have to be so cruel? ****** Akio tugged at the pale blue uniform lined in black while Anthy stood next to him in her pristine white top and turquoise skirt, and they gazed into the schoolyard through the gates. "Here it is Anthy-chan," Akio said, "You remember where you're supposed to go?" The girl nodded hesitantly. "Good. Meet with me in the cafeteria for lunch," he ran a hand through his short violet hair as he spoke, his young eyes gazing across the campus. "Right. Have a nice day Onii-sama!" Anthy called out dashing off to her first class. Akio smiled and took a slower pace to his first class. The doctor had been amazingly helpful and had suggested that he and Anthy attend one of the more prestigious academies where they could be guaranteed a full education as well as a place to live. Children that went to these schools were practically orphans anyways, and they could even remain there during holidays. Yes, things would work out fine, just fine. He promised himself before they left that he would protect Anthy and he had managed to get the dean of students to let them live together. He had agreed and placed them in the East Dorm where they had several neighbors who had agreed the help them out. They had already received a few offers to go home with students for holidays though he didn't think that they would accept, at least not yet, and Anthy did not do well around strangers. As he mused, the first bell rang. Oh no! Akio picked up his pace; it wouldn't do to be late. It wouldn't do at all. ****** "Do you know do you know? Have you heard the news?" "The young prince has stepped onto the stage, the play begins again." "Alas young prince you have no memory of your past life, can you save the right princess this time?" "Can you? Can you? Can you save the right princess this time?" "Or will you cause the world more suffering then is beyond imagining?" "Tells us dear prince which path will you choose!" "Do you know? Do you know? Which path will you choose?" ****** Akio awoke with a start, his forehead beaded with droplets of sweat. He pushed the sheet away and sat on the edge of the bed, his feet dangling. "Hey!" a protest came from below, "Get your feet outta my face." "Oh, gomen," Akio said quietly, bringing his legs back on the bed itself. He missed Anthy, but she had been reassigned to the West dorm this year. The new Dean of students thought it more prudent since they were older now. He felt more insulted then anything, like he would do anything questionable to his sister? The very idea. He ran a hand through his hair. He had decided to let it grow out, it looked more mature that way he thought. He wondered what Anthy was doing right now, probably sleeping, but what was she dreaming? What worries invaded her gentle mind? He wondered if she remembered the words she had spoken to him years ago about eternity. He certainly did, especially now. He had reoccurring dreams of what he thought might be a past life, it felt so familiar, so real...it couldn't be a figment of his unconscious mind. There was something to these dreams, something familiar. He lay back down, the side of his face pressed into the softness of the white pillow. Why now? Why now was he so obsessed with the idea of eternity? Perhaps it was a coming of age thing. Certainly he had read the lore of religions, his mind soaked in the images of mythic figures, of predictions that most likely would never come true...but those were nothing, those were the hopes of people long ago...they did not pertain to now and they never would, to the disappointment of much of the religious world. No, he shifted and lay on his back, there was no benevolent deity who would save the world and bring everyone eternal life. Perhaps...someone needed to take that pathway, and as of yet no one was brave enough to do so. Then again, was a god a good career move? He quietly chuckled to himself. ****** "We died here you know, it's ironic that we have returned here," the quiet feminine voice mused next to him. He was staring up at they sky, a luminescent castle spiraling above his head. "Doesn't this frighten you?" He asked the small child next to him. "Oh no, it wont fall until..." "Until?" "Until the end of the world," she said in a bemused whisper, "At that time will the true prince change the world...eternity will be his." "What about you?" he found himself asking, though he wasn't sure why. "Me? I am nothing. I am a shadow, a tool." "That's not...that can't be," He turned to look at the child who's body had now grown to that of a young woman, her features blackened out so that he could not see her clearly. "I am the Rose Bride and I will belong to you, if you will have me. But, you must create me first." "Create?" "It shouldn't be a problem, for one such as yourself." "Such..." His mind was not functioning properly and the thin hand pressed a finger to his lips. "The forest hide's secrets," she said before her image faded away. He was left alone. "Do you know do you know? Have you heard the news?" He turned his head to see two shadows against a rose patterned wall; he was inside now. "Know what?" he asked them, "What?" "Oh dear prince have you chosen your path already?" the other said standing next to a road sign pointing towards a forest. "Are you sure it's the correct path dear prince?" The other asked standing next to a second road sign that lead to a castle. "Do you know do you know? Have you taken the right path?" they stood now in front of a coffin surrounded by swords. He gasped and was thrown from the dream. End of Part One